The Art Of Listening On A First Date

You don’t want to just hook-up anymore. Those times were fun. Now, you feel like you’re ready to share more than sex with somebody; maybe some meals, long conversations and advice only when you ask for it (kidding…Am I?). So, you go out somewhere and try to get to know more about someone else. On your first date, you have to do one thing and one thing only to impress: listen. Here’s how I do it. Here’s how girls I’m into do it. Here’s how you can do it.

Phone Down

Listen to Phone Down (Lost Kings) while you read. Looking at your phone while on a first date is an immature cop-out. It says, I’m nervous, so I’ll look to my phone for support.

Say Things You Would Say

You want to be yourself, like all the time. Your self-confidence flourishes when you act yourself. You hurt your chances at a happy and fulfilling bond when you try to be the person you believe the other wants you to be. And if that sounds great because their jaw line can cut diamonds or their legs will make a room of influencers jealous, it will only deteriorate your happiness the longer you two are together. Remember, I love to answer personal relationship questions on social media.

Eye Contact

Your friend looks away the moment you get to the juicy part of the story. Now, you feel like you need to start over. Eye contact shows that you’re paying attention. Even if their beauty is too distracting AND you’re also holding back a loud fart, be sure to make consistent eye contact with your date. It shows you’re someone who listens and listens well.

Silent Physical Reactions

I love to use this tip on first dates. Widen your eyes, nod, and use hand gestures when you want to relate to what your date is saying. Do so quietly, so you can let them know that you’re actively listening to them. Sound like something you learned in 3rd grade? Well it is. And it works.

Don’t Interrupt

Those first impressions, tho. We all have interrupted our friends and family. You doing the same to someone you don’t know is heightened by the very fact that they do not know you. They won’t give you enough leeway. This could be the reason she says, I’ll text you, instead of Text me.

Pause

I’ve been on first dates when the person across from me is observably nervous, and they never stop talking. I understand nervousness as much as anyone. Unfortunately, on first dates, you have to show up with your game face, on a first date. First, non-stop talking tells me you don’t want to listen to what I have to say. And second, non-stop talking is exhausting for both parties. Take a breath, smile, then ask a question.

Your Appearance

Odds are, your physical appearance bought you the first date. See below for easy mistakes we all make when we focus too much on our hair and outfit…me.

• Food in-between your teeth
• Boogers
• Bad breath/Coffee breath after a long day
• Nose hairs
• Do you have a real beard? Or do you just call it that? Shave it to look mature.
• Deodorant?

EAT!

Eating and drinking while someone else is talking is not considered an interruption by any means. The longer you wait to pick the right time to drink your coffee or eat your salad, the more nervous you’ll become.

Which listening skill will you use?

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