15 Thanksgiving Jokes You Can Tell At The Dinner Table
The leaves are changing, the sun is setting earlier, fall flavors are being put back onto the menu. You know what that means? Thanksgiving is just around the corner. One of the best parts about Thanksgiving is the fact that family members both near and far gather around the table to eat a wonderfully prepared meal. Sometimes, however, Thanksgiving dinner can come with its downfalls. Sometimes it can be hard to engage in conversations with family members you have not seen in a very long time, sometimes there is tension build-up from a conversation topic that went in the wrong direction. Whatever the situation may be though, the only thing that is sure to lighten up the mood is some good Thanksgiving Jokes. Not only are Thanksgiving Jokes great icebreakers and tension annihilators, but they are also just amazing at increasing the overall lightheartedness and joy of whatever environment you are in.
So do you want to be the life of the party? Perhaps the crack-up of the family? Or maybe even the Thanksgiving comedic hero? If you do, then I have supplied the answer to your prayers. I have compiled this handy-dandy list of funny Thanksgiving Jokes so that you can avoid any awkward silences at the dinner table. Don’t worry all of these Thanksgiving Jokes are appropriate and can be said in front of grandma and grandpa. Sure, some of these Thanksgiving Jokes may be cheesy, but who doesn’t love cheese? Regardless, these Thanksgiving Jokes will definitely get a laugh out of your family members, lighten up the atmosphere, and make for great memories later down the road. On the other hand, if you are just scrolling the Internet looking for some seasonal laughs, this list works for that too.
1. The Turkey That Crossed The Road
“Why did the turkey cross the road?”
“He wanted people to think he was a chicken.”
To be fair, I would not want to be a turkey on Thanksgiving either…
2. Grocery Store Check-Out
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No, ma’am. They’re dead.”
– Grant W. told BoysLife
I think the store clerk takes things a little too seriously, don’t you?
3. The Frightened Parrot
A man buys a parrot, only to have it constantly insult him. He tries everything to make the parrot stop, but nothing works. Frustrated, the man puts the parrot in the freezer. After a few minutes, the insults stop. The man thinks he might have killed the parrot, so he opens the freezer and takes the parrot out. The parrot is shivering. It stammers, “S-s-sorry for being r-r-rude. Please f-f-forgive me.” Then, after a moment, the parrot softly asks, “W-w-what exactly d-d-did the turkey do?”
– Ted M. told BoysLife
Rumor has it the parrot still hasn’t recovered. He has seen things.
4. The Day After
“What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?”
“Lucky.”
That turkey is probably still in hiding. Better safe than sorry, right?
5. What Are You Thankful For
Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,”
Little Johnny wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”
Me too Little Johnny… me too. Kids really don’t take the simple things for granted. We should all be more like Little Johnny.
6. Technological Turkey
“What did the turkey say to the computer?”
“Google, google.”
A play on words and a technological reference to today’s society? A genius joke.
7. A Potato And A Sweet Potato
A potato and a sweet potato were playing on the playground. The sweet potato told the potato, “Hey, I just found out I’m related to you.” The potato said, “No, you’re not!” and the sweet potato replied, “Yes, I yam.”
If you are a sucker for puns, this one is for you!
8. Sad Cranberries
“What happens when you’re too harsh on cranberries and make them sad?”
“They turn into blueberries.”
Another play on words. Even if you don’t laugh at this joke, you have to appreciate its cleverness. I definitely could not have come up with that joke on my own.
9. The Disobedient Children
“What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?”
“If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!”
And that is saying something because I bet turning around in one’s gravy is a very difficult thing to do.
10. The Thing That Smells The Best
“What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?”
“Your nose.”
I am not going to lie, this got quite a chuckle out of me. Hopefully, it gets a chuckle out of you. If it doesn’t, well…let’s just move past this.
11. A Small Gobbler
“If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one?”
“Goblet.”
I really should have seen this coming seeing as this was just a variation of niblet…
12. Pilgrims vs. College Students
“If Pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?”
“Scholar ships.”
As a college student, I can sadly confirm that this is not only a joke but an unfortunate reality. I think all of us college students can agree that we would all love to jump from being on the Scholar Ship is the only thing keeping us afloat.
13. Red Cranberries
“Why did the cranberries turn red?”
“Because they saw the turkey dressing.”
Another cranberry joke! People must really love cranberries.
14. Pirate vs. Cranberry Farmer
Pat: What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
Jerry: I don’t know. What?
Pat: A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.
– Patricia J. told BoysLife
Okay, but someone please tell me why hearing that the farmer treasures his berries made me go, “aww,” on the inside.
15. Turkey Mayhem
I worked on a toll road, answering the phone, collecting money and issuing toll tickets. One Thanksgiving Day, a woman called to ask about road conditions on the turnpike. After I said everything was A-okay, she told me a friend was coming for dinner. Then came the stumper. “If my friend just left from exit twelve,” she asked, “what time should I put the turkey in?”
– Sandra Shields told Reader’s Digest
Who is going to tell her? Also, please do not be like this woman’s friend and forget to give yourself ample time to put the turkey in the oven. Turkeys take a lot of time to prepare and bake. Save yourself the mayhem and don’t wait until the last minute.
Which one of these Thanksgiving Jokes was able to get a belly-aching laugh out of you? Which joke are you most likely to share at the Thanksgiving dinner table? Let us know down in the comments below!
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