It’s 2018 and the struggles of being an interracial couple are still a real thing. What’s more they go deeper than just black and white or what people on the outside looking in do. There are issues that occur between the couples themselves like expected habits based on culture, or appropriate social skills based on cultural context. Regardless of the circumstances, we have to remember to always respect each other and make decisions that will lessen the struggles, and not worsen them. Because living with hate, is no way to live. Here are 8 examples of struggles of an interracial couple.
One struggle is the sharing of families. You’re not always going to get along with everyone and that’s ok. The world is truly big enough for all of us to have our own space in it. If you and your S.O. can’t come to an agreement about things going on between your families just remember that time and space can heal things. Maybe keep family interactions to a minimum until they can improve. I think it’s better to have minimal interactions then to have plenty of negative ones. This will also limit the struggles you have with each other that are provoked by family issues. You’ll have less to argue about if there’s less drama going on.
The standards and common habits of social groups can vary by ethnicity, by cultural schema, and by social expectations. Believe it or not, the world is separated into groups. And amidst those groups are certain ground rules set into place that most likely have been developed over years and years of natural and nurtured habits. In interracial relationships you may find that your group of people you associate with may have these rules and expectations for those who are in the group, and again, this is ok.
This is life, we’re all entitled to our cultural habits and characteristics and should always be welcoming to those who want to associate with us. However, it may become a problem if you’re not interested in mock-associating with that group for the sake of your S.O.. In other words if you feel that you don’t need to adapt to the expectations of a culturally different group when you’re around them, you can create tension and unnecessary friction with them. Acting a certain way, or being too outgoing, being too quiet during conversation.
These are all ways you can trigger negative responses amongst people who don’t usually act that way. Whatever attribute it is that is not casual for that group may come off as disrespectful and can cause issues for you and your spouse if you can’t get along with each others friends. The only advice I have for situations like these are to either learn to adapt, which is an actual thing referred to as being culturally astute, or, keep separate groups. We’re all understanding adults. We don’t have to share everything. Taking the steps required to avoid struggle race can make being an interracial couple much more comfortable.
Maybe we don’t consider this right away when we meet someone or maybe we do. Either way, religion will eventually become an important part in the decision making of a relationship. If you’re a strict and un-bending religious person you might expect your partner to support your ideals. This can be a struggle if they actually don’t and you’re already engaged passionately and want to remain together. You’ll have to either come to the conclusion that you will accept each others religious differences, or maybe just head south.
This can be an interracial issue and struggle because the choice of ones religion can sometimes be based on cultural or familial habits and beliefs. This is an out-dated concept, yes, but it is contemporaneously apparent in different ways. Maybe small problems like making jokes about God, or using inappropriate languages come up occasionally and bother you to the point of argument. This is a struggle that you and your S.O. will have to deal with if you have interracial issues that revolve around religion. It helps to work these things out earlier on, but sometimes they’re just unexpected factors and as a couple you have to work through them and decide what’s best for you. Find a common ground in your relationship that prevents anyone from being offended.
Wherever you live, you can most likely get the kind of food you like, or you can prepare it on your own. In some cultures there is a strong expectation of what you’ll be eating or just a strong preference of food on a daily basis. If you’re an interracial couple you might struggle over who’s tired of eating what type of food and who’s not getting enough of their traditional home-eats. A small struggle yes, but still one that does happen in the real world. But you guys can work it out easily. Maybe set a meal schedule, or eat separate meals together! Don’t let this small issue cause discomfort in your relationship. And always be open to trying new things because if you don’t you could be missing out on good flavors!
I don’t mean to sound stereotypical. I have been around people of different cultures. I’ve also grown to accept the fact that we are a world of different people and that it’s ok to have specific standards. I truly think it’s easier to accept each others differences, than to fight to make everyone the same. You may find that in some interracial relationships there are expectations of behavior. How you carry yourself when you go out, how you act, how you dress.
In the beginning of a relationship with someone culturally different than you, you probably found that person attractive because of their differences. You have to remember to keep that thought fresh, because one struggle of an interracial couple, is how you can grow to expect the person to be just like you. If they’re not, they’re not, and you have to love them for who they are, no matter how loud their voice is when you’re sitting in a restaurant or how short their skirts are in the summer.
Ideas of respect amongst an interracial couple can be a combination of any of the above struggles. You will learn when you meet someone what they think is respectful or disrespectful and if you’re interested in being with that person you will avoid the act of hurting each other by learning and coping with each others expectations and wishes.
We’re all familiar with this type of struggle going on all around the world. But maybe not all of us are familiar with the concept that is involved in gender expectations in relationships. They do still happen. If you’re a female who believes that chivalry and strength is the main quality of man, you have culturally instilled ideals and are putting them onto your S.O.. If they don’t agree with these, you’ll have to find a way around this as a couple. Maybe give up your expectations of him always opening doors, or explain that it is a make or break necessity for you in a relationship.
Politics can be different for people based on culture and race. Don’t try to deny it. Maybe some people are from different places and have similar ideals of civil standards, but there are definitely issues of differing opinions that are based on cultural backgrounds. In the beginning of a relationship this might not bother you, but when you have your first argument about who should be president, or why you don’t vote, you’ll get what I mean.
Ideas of right and wrong, or proper and improper punishments can be based on political ideas, which are based on natural and evolved cultural schema. These arguments are the struggle of every interracial couple that doesn’t agree on political policies because they can start out as friendly debates, but can certainly lead to greater problems later on in life. This is another struggle that needs to be worked out and not made worse by ignoring it.
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