Whether you’re slumming it through the halls of your library or getting the side eye from a guy at the bar, there’s a cast of character that are familiar to college students everywhere. Some evolved from high school stereotypes, and others came into full form after meeting their fellow fraternity bros who live and die by Vineyard Vines.
If this person out, it’s like seeing a ghost. They’re always holed up in their room watching Game of Thrones, and swear they study better from bed. They missed their class because they slept in and have one friend. They probably haven’t posted on Instagram in three months.
She’s currently digging through the depths of Amazon and Dolls Kill for the most absurd rave outfit you’ve ever seen. Likely to have 900 friends who all bond over heavy bass, and has experimented with at least three drugs. Probably loves nature, and wants to do Peace Corps after graduating.
There’s a wide variety of these folk on most college campuses. There’s the black out or back out kind, who breaks flimsy tables whenever possible, the artsy kind who vomits from boxed wine multiple nights a week, and the socialite who goes to parties and makes best friends in the girls bathroom.
She might run a cringe fitness Instagram or has “vegan” in her bio. You’re bound to see stories of her at the local hipster restaurant probably ordering avocado toast or smoothie bowls. She might look down on you for drinking anything but kombucha or warm lemon water.
They go to the Kentucky Derby and smoke cigars that cost more than your car. They casually buy bottles of Grey Goose and have totaled their dad’s Range Rover – twice. Their snapchat in the summer is them getting drunk at the country club and golfing with 50 year old men with hedge funds.
They perpetually smell like weed and do a few bong rips before every class. Likely to be like, super chill, and have a colorful tapestry hanging on their wall. Usually seem like they have a low IQ but will end up being successful engineers.
Can go out twice a year and haven’t slept since they were eight years old. If they’re a male athlete, they think their blood is pure gold and assume every woman wants to be their spouse. They might even post videos of them rapping along to Drake. Female athletes hang out exclusively with each other and truly don’t give a f*ck about your opinion.
Love Mo Bamba and thrive off of Everclear and potently sweet juice. They were born to rage, probably skipped class to darty, and have two girlfriends simultaneously. They’ll probably tell you that they’re not feminists, but think women are cool, and stuff.
Wears Carhart beanie and Levi’s jeans – posts art and poetry on their Instagram story daily and thinks their life is much worse than anybody else’s. If you haven’t seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind you’re ousted, and must have at least one ironic tattoo in an obscure location.
Lives and breathes for her Greek letters. Her room is likely decorated with pastel colors, and she’s hot glued sequins onto nearly every inanimate object she owns. She probably has blonde highlights and posts her Starbucks drink on her snapchat. Also is probably single, but loves it! Wants to marry Chad in Sigma Chi.
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