The sex stigma surrounding us young people today is one which degrades the sexual activity of women whilst simultaneously encouraging the same behavior in men. Why do we insist on slut-shaming women in a society that supposedly supports female empowerment? Stigmas engrained into societal mentality such as this one aren’t easily relinquished but it seems that attitudes are beginning to change…
Gone are the days where sex was a taboo topic for women. Sharing sexual experiences and opinions among friends has become habitual and it encourages a healthy sex life. Discussing the topic with the opposite sex can also be very enlightening, however, a stigma still seems to exist around talking about your own sex life with your sexual partner. When I was directly confronted with the discussion by a relatively new sexual partner, I was shocked and not sure how honest to be. But it turns out it’s the fastest way to good sex!
Women have a sex drive too. And despite preconceptions about men being selfish in bed, they enjoy seeing us enjoying ourselves! If we want to bring home a different guy every night, we should be able to do so without being slut-shamed. Thankfully, the sexual promiscuity gender disparity is leveling out as we negatively label promiscuous men as ‘fuckboys’ and are beginning to admire promiscuous women.
Ann Summers and similar shops have shamelessly popped up in every town, luring in the sexually curious. We may not quite be ready to march in with our mum and get her opinion on the most effective handcuffs, but at least we can have a giggly browse with our friends (and maybe even a serious browse with our partner…).
This attitude is a working progress as there is an automatic association with high numbers and slut/fuckboy shaming. However, I think admiration is slowly growing as women are becoming less concerned with their number of sexual partners. If men can boast about their double figures then why shouldn’t we at least be at peace with ours? We can rest assured that we won’t be slut-shamed or seen as any less attractive by men as it’s purely a sign of fun had, and experience gained (which are actually attractive traits).
Some men still think they have the right to objectify women. Walking down the street and being looked up and down by misogynistic men, muttering obscene objectification under their breath and sometimes even making uninvited, and unwanted physical contact is unfortunately not a thing of the past. Making women feel uncomfortable or making us feel as if we’re dressed inappropriately only adds to the sex stigma by reinforcing the sexist opinion that our role as women is for men’s sexual pleasure.
The drawback to women talking openly about sex and openly enjoying sex is that it gives men the opportunity to slut-shame us. Now that we are finally losing the sex stigma that suppressed women, we are gaining a new sex stigma that is shaming us, for the sole purpose of establishing an in-group identity.
Girl groups can be bitchy at the best of times, but they don’t hesitate any more than men when it comes to slut-shaming girls outside of their group, as a form of ‘othering’. We need to realize that this behavior is hypocritical and does us no favors when it comes to female empowerment. Support each other’s sexual endeavors!
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