12 Signs You’re From Fort Lauderdale
If you’re from Fort Lauderdale, you know that just because you live next to the beach doesnt mean you get to live there all the time like the tourists. Read on to find others signs only people from Fort Lauderdale can relate to.
1. You wear flip-flops and sandals almost everywhere.
I’m talking errands, appointments, movies, it’s a sea of sandals.
2. Basically, if it’s cooler than 70 degrees outside it’s considered freezing.
Time for boots and heavy jackets. Burr!
3. Publix subs. Nuff’ said.
Great, now I want one!
4. In other parts of the country you signal to change lanes. In Fort Lauderdale, you know better than to signal.
People speed up and purposely don’t let you in if you signal. To them it’s like, “oh they’re signaling, quick Bob, see how fast you can go so they can’t make it into the lane! Ha! 10 points if we succeed! Look the poor schmuck had to get off at the wrong exit, mission accomplished. Great job Bob, excellent work.”
5. Girls you think are out of your league are actually homeless, basically.
Often you may spot one of these girls out at the club at a table with bottles. A man usually paid for the table and she is what they call a “bottle rat.”
6. Men rent sports cars and other material possessions and pretend like they own them.
They do this to attempt to pick up and impress women.
7. Two words. Plastic surgery.
Fake boobs and butts as far as the eye can see. Eye candy everywhere, hello!
8. “You live in Fort Lauderdale, don’t you like live at the beach?”
Actually, I work 40+ hours a week. Tourists get better use of the beach than I do, even though I’m right near it. I do more than sip cocktails and tan, Linda!
9. I-75S is literally always under construction.
Like what are you constructing and how many more years do you need? No, seriously.
10. You may actually see an alligator in your back yard, or even in your swimming pool.
Some people even try to own them as pets here. Not kidding.
11. Hurricane Season.
Hurricane category 1? Party time. Get the beer and the hot dogs. Category 3? Ok, time to buy water and stock up on goods just in case. Slight Panic. Category 4? Okay, panic. I’m sorry I partied during the category 1. I swear I didn’t mean it. Please take mercy on me Mother Nature.
12. Parallel park?
Wait, what? Maybe I don’t need to go here after all. Is there a garage somewhere? Help!
