Being in a relationship with a toxic person is a relationship doomed from the start. Of course, a toxic person does not show their gross traits for quite sometime. Trust me, I would know. Here are 7 signs you’re dating a toxic person.
Why is it that every time you ask about an ex or even a family member of theirs, your partner’s account is nothing good?
Oh my god, let me tell you, this sign hits close to home. My “ex” would always do this to me. If I said something like I don’t like how you flirt with other girls, he would say you’re “buggin'” or that I’m crazy, jealous, or insecure. However, when he would get mad at something I would have to sympathize with him. My feelings were never valid. I was always dismissed and made to feel like trash. If I was depressed, he would tell me I’m always so negative. If he did something to upset me, he’d apologize (which was rare), and if I was still upset about it, he would get mad at me. If I upset him in any way it would be the end of the world.
My “ex” was always on defense. I never understood why. I would tell him how I didn’t like how he x, y, and z. He would immediately dramatize the whole situation. It made me regret saying anything in the first place. I think I should take a bit of blame on this one. In the beginning of our relationship, I didn’t want anything to go wrong. Every time I wanted to speak up about something I would always keep quiet and let him get away with treating me the way he did. It came back to bite me in the butt because two years later, the way he treated me just became worse.
Your partner won’t show their controlling habits right away and in a huge fashion. It could be really small things, but those small things add up. I really love comedy, he, however, did not. Side note: what a nut job, who doesn’t like comedy? Anyways, I really wanted to see this movie. We never go to the movies and we never watch comedies together so I really wanted to go. He complained the whole time. It was so disheartening. Every time I would laugh at a joke he would say, “this is so stupid.” It was so bad I didn’t even want to watch the rest of the movie. Because we weren’t doing what he wanted, he took control of my emotions and made me regret the whole evening.
I’ll give you another example. Whenever we were driving in MY car he always had to control the music. If I put two songs on he would say “alright I’m putting mine on now.” Even when I put on a specific playlist to chill me out because I was driving a very long, unfamiliar distance for him, he still got control of the music. It sounds stupid, but like I said, it’s the little things.
According to an article by Commitmentconnection.com, “Gaslighting is a technique used to convince partners that they’re going mad…when in fact, everything you notice about the imbalance in this relationship is true. However, [they’re] dead set on persuading you to think it’s all in your head and [they’re] absolutely perfect.”
Here’s another trait a toxic person would have, crappy communication skills. If there’s no communication, then what are you even in this relationship for?
Nothing was ever his fault. I’m not just talking about things in our relationship, I’m talking about life in general. It’s pretty pathetic honestly. As old as some people are, they just never grow up.
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