8 Signs You Might Be Falling For The Brooding Bad Boy
Trust me, I get it. There is just a little something about bad boys that we can become attracted to. They’re often good-looking, charming, and confident, which draws us to them and blinds us to other things about them at first. Whether it’s because he keeps you on your toes, he doesn’t fear rejection and has you playing chase, or he just has an aura of mystery about him that draws you to him, chances are you’ve been attracted to at least one bad boy before. There might even be the chance that you have no idea why you’re falling for the bad boy you just know that you are. Doesn’t mean you always will, but sometimes falling for the bad boy is exciting, different, out of your comfort zone.
I know the bad boys get a bad rap, but that doesn’t mean that they’re always going to break your heart. Sure, they’re more likely to than the nice guy down the road, but that doesn’t mean you need to stay away from all of them. Sometimes the bad boy thing is just for show and if you can crack it, you might find a genuine and life-long partner. Other times, you won’t. Here are some signs you might be falling for the bad boy. Just remember to think of you, and know when it’s time to give up on those brooding things you might like for a little while.
1. You’ve become the giver in the relationship and seem more invested in it.
If you start feeling like you give more effort in the relationship and that it just seems like he doesn’t care about it too much, there’s a good chance, you’re falling for the bad boy. When you become the giver in the relationship it’s because you’re missing love and attention that he isn’t giving you. You start to feel like you’re doing something that makes them not want to give you love and attention so you start compensating by giving them more love and attention. And then you just continue to give, give, give without any change in him or reciprocation. You’ll know you’re falling for the bad boy when it just seems like you care about the relationship way more than he does.
2. He’s distant or emotionally detached and you kind of like it.
If you start falling for the bad boy because he is more distant or less invested emotionally than some of the other men you’ve dated, this could be because you’ve seen this sort of behavior before and you are comfortable around it. If you kind of like it when your man doesn’t show any emotion when you fight, do something romantic, or even just watch an emotional movie it’s clear that you’ve started falling for the bad boy. Sure, this emotional detachment might be charming at first, but it may become extremely tedious and you might realize that you want something more than the brooding boy who never shows you any emotion.
3. You start using his list of pros to convince you to stay in the relationship.
You’ve considered ending the relationship and walking away but now you’ve found yourself using his minimal list of pros to get you to stay. If you’ve started saying, “well he does this great thing every so often” to cross out the fact that he made you feel bad again, this means you’re falling for the bad boy. As soon as we start forgiving the bad and hurtful things he has done with the small and rare good things he can do, we know we’ve started falling for the bad boy who is probably always going to be the bad boy. Know that when you do this, you aren’t thinking of yourself you’re just thinking of him. Try not to let that keep you from leaving a relationship that might not be good for you.
4. His lack of fear for getting into trouble draws you to him.
If you’ve started to like his lack of fear for almost anything reckless or that can get him into trouble there’s a good chance you’re falling for the bad boy. The secondhand adrenaline that you feel when you’re partner does something that might get him, or you, into trouble keeps you on your toes and invested. You also might start wanting to feel that adrenaline more, so you stay with him because you know that he can make it happen for you. An attachment to the lack of fear and the way it makes you feel is a clear sign that you’re falling for the bad boy who makes you feel the adrenaline that you’ve probably never felt before.
5. You relish in trying to “fix him”.
Whether you have a savior complex or you just believe that this one can change, once you’ve started trying to “fix” him you know you’ve started falling for the bad boy. You were drawn to the brokenness that he possesses and showed to you and now you think you can fix him and make him feel less broken. And you start to think that once you fix him, he’ll become a more loving, present, and compassionate kind of boyfriend. If you can crack the shell he’s put up, good on you, but don’t get too worked up if it seems like you haven’t put a dent in his hard exterior. Chances are he doesn’t want you to, and if you continue to try you’ll know you’re falling for the bad boy.
6. Your relationship is driven by sex.
Yes, it’s probably the best sex you’ve ever had because it’s more passionate, it’s probably a bit more aggressive, and you’re probably doing it a lot more than you ever have before, but if you’re relationship just hangs on the fact that you’re having incredible sex then you’re falling for the bad boy. If it’s the foundational factor that keeps you both in it, then you’re more attracted to how he makes you feel in the bedroom and not how he makes you feel out of it. His hard exterior and lack of emotion make melt away for a minute in the bedroom and that also keeps you coming back for more. Falling for the bad boy could mean that you’re seeking out the small moments of vulnerability that you get from him when you have sex.
7. He’s noncommittal.
If you can’t get him to commit to a real relationship, you’re probably falling for the bad boy. He tells you that he doesn’t want to commit to anything because he doesn’t want to ruin the fun thing you have going on and you agree with it because you’re afraid that he won’t stick around if you don’t. His sense of noncommitment for some reason also keeps you attracted to him because maybe now you’ve become the one chasing in the relationship and you’ve never had to do that before. When your falling for the bad boy, you see the noncommitment as just another challenge that you’ll have fun trying to overcome. Because once you get him to commit, if you ever do, you’ll have accomplished something that other girls haven’t been able to.
8. The things he makes you feel are fueled by something you’ve never felt when you were with a “good guy”.
Once you start falling for the bad boy, you start to realize that maybe some of the “good guys” you dated before were boring and just lacked a spark that this guy gives to you. Once you start experiencing new and exciting things with the bad boy, it might become something that you won’t want to give up. You might be attracted to the new and exciting experiencing that falling for the bad boy has led you to, and not really who he is as a person. The spontaneity and aura of mystery keep you invested because you want to see what else he can bring to the table that other guys haven’t been able to before. Just be careful and remember that all that attraction to those things can also fade away over time.
