20 Signs You Grew Up In Mountain Lakes NJ

If you grew up in Mountain Lakes NJ, you definitely had your fair share of school embarrassments, town-wide gossip and your favorite food joints. Here are 20 signs you grew up in Mountain Lakes New Jersey!

1. Hearing ‘lax bro’ strikes fear into your heart

The horrible bleach jobs, the horrendously bright colored lacrosse shorts, the pack attitude… If you saw a lax flock in the hallway, you turned the other way.

2. Your two favorite words are ‘option two’

Pretty much every person at MLHS who can walk plays a sport, if not more. Option two was the saving grace of everyone who didn’t feel like suffering through the high school’s idea of a gym class.

3. Briarcliff gym class made you want to kill yourself

Taking that leap from ‘Childwood’ to Briarcliff was great, except for the gym changeup. Gone are the days of guarding bowling pins and playing kickball inside; now, you learn (to hate) burpees, how jump rope can be turned into a form of torture, and how much you can hate a man you only see for 43 minutes a day.

4. The myth and the legend: Mr. Butler

By far the most bizarre teacher in the entire school district; skinny to the point of looking anorexic, covered in tattoos, and cousin to Jared Leto (allegedly). He’s one of Mountai. Lakes’ few memes. Aliens on the Wall, anyone?

5. We all know a kid who chipped a tooth playing ice hockey at the Cove

You know, before global warming set in and the lakes actually froze #fakenews.

6. The third grade cultural dance unit

Literally the best couple weeks of your elementary school life. Pausing lessons to learn a dance? Hell yes! Every girl being jealous she didn’t get Japan and every boy wishing he got China so he got to hit the gym stage with sticks.

7. The middle school dance unit

The complete opposite of the elementary school one; embarrassing, outdated dances taught by an embarrassing, outdated man, that you had to perform in front of the class. Square dancing was relatively painless, but forget about the African dance. Being taught a cultural dance by a straight, white guy kind of took the fun out of it.

8. The Halloween parade was the social event of the year

Wearing last year’s costume? Tsk-tsk. Not matching with 20 of your closest friends? Minus points there too. You need to be in a hot new costume complete with makeup, or you might as well just go home. Elementary school was tough.

9. First grade chick raising convinced us all that we wanted to be farmers

Unless of course none of your chicks hatched, in which case you got a hard lesson on mortality at the tender age of six.

10. The Guinea Pig Murder of 2007

The entire third grade heard about it: Mr. Lewis, dreaded sub to this day, let a baby guinea pig with its head stuck between two cage bars die. It was hot gossip before we knew what gossip meant.

11. You were there when the Market changed to Hapgoods

And honestly, you were kind of okay with it. Hapgoods was way better decorated and let’s face it, we were all going to go there whether it sucked or not.

12. The aftermath of Hurricane Sandy was the best/worst week of your life

No school, which is awesome, but also no power… If you didn’t have a generator life was pretty bleak.

13. No grocery store will ever top Kings (in quality… or prices)

Lakers shop there because a) it’s close by and b) it’s bougie and lakers love nothing more.

14. The Great Ice Cream Debate: Denville Dairy vs. Scoops

Newsflash, it’s Denville Dairy, no competition. Not only is it way more convenient to drive to (if you say you like driving in Boonton you’re lying to yourself), but the ice cream is better (sorry not sorry), and you don’t have to awkwardly be served it by your classmates.

15. SIMPLIFY MARKETPLACE PRETZELS

Better pretzels will never be found. Too bad it closed because literally no one bought anything but the pretzels.

16. Everyone knows what house you live in and who used to live there

I can’t tell you how many people came up to me and said, “oh, you moved into the Dignes house right?” Straight up weird; regardless, I know who moved into the Davies’ house and the family that moved into my old house have a kid on the crew team. #littletownfulloflittlepeople

17. You’ve spent the day at Island Beach or Birchwood Lake

When you were seven, Island Beach was the prime social spot in the summer, and you swam until your hair reeked of lake. As you got older, Birchwood was a nice place to go swimming or take a date on.

18. All of your shopping is done in different towns

The closest Walgreens is in Denville, the gas station is in Parsippany, the grocery store is on the border of Boonton… You even have to go all the way to Short Hills for the mall (because please, you’re not going to Rockaway).

19. You had K-8th grade with all. the. same. people.

Teeny tiny town equals teeny tiny school district. You knew the name of every kid in your grade, and every new kid was celebrated and fought over. You rejoiced when you finally got to high school and you found Boonton Township people. Variety! Different people in your classes!

20. And finally.. the House Tour

I did not realize until high school that this was not something every town did. Decking your house out for Christmas and then having people pay to nose around in it? Only in Mountain Lakes. (It makes a really good date though; play house with your boo!)