20 Signs You Grew Up In An Iranian Family In LA
Growing up in Los Angeles is an experience of its own; so is growing up in an Iranian family. Put the two together, and you’ve got one notable childhood with unmistakable traditions, experiences, and cultural cross overs. Here’s how you know you’ve grown up in an Iranian Family in Los Angeles.
1. Your parents think your American friends understand Farsi.
Mom, she doesn’t understand what “beeyah bokhoreen” means…
2. After a flight or road trip, you always get Kabob, probably at Darya
….and you never understood this painting on the wall! Is it an ocean? Is it a table cloth? I NEED ANSWERS!
3. Dr. Holakouee is a GOD to your family.
“SHHHH HE’S TALKING!!”
4. If you applied to college anywhere outside of Los Angeles, you’ll never hear the end of it.
“But UCLA and USC are so good! It’s not too late to transfer…”
5. No conversation in your house is quiet, the norm is excessive yelling.
And the neighbors probably know everything about your life because of this. Not to mention, your family yells at the car when they talk on bluetooth.
6. You never watched MMA fights because you had Eilat market on Fridays.
DO. NOT. GO. NEAR. THE. FRUITS. You are risking your life every time you walk in there.
7. The sprint to get the best part of the Tahdig is the most cardio you’ve ever done.
Perfectly crispy, golden, and not too oily. (Your mouth is watering now isn’t it?)
8. If you work out at Equinox, you’re likely to spot everyone in your extended family.
Let me just walk on the treadmill and pretend I’m working out alone!
9. You grew up with unconventional home-remedies and traditions.
You know something happened, or is about to happen, when your mom gets out that huge sage stick and starts burning esfand.
10. NEVER go to your grandma’s house full.
…it’s basically illegal.
11. People automatically assume you have a white BMW and live in Beverly Hills.
You’re wrong…it’s black.
12. You don’t know when your grandparents’ real birthdays are, so the celebration lasts from somewhere between a week to a month.
She was born in Ordibehesht, so sometime in April or May? Idk though.
13. You’ve memorized all the commercials that play on KIRN Radio Iran.
“Eight one eiiiight, seven seven seven! Seventy seven, seventy seven, Luuuucckky Seveennn”.
14. “Let’s go” really means “time to say goodbye to everyone for an hour”.
But of course, you’d never hear this before your parents finished their chai and nabaat.
15. And as a child, once you realized you’re never leaving, you started making a bed out of the chairs.
You know the one: plastic chairs, and jackets as blankets.
16. Your eyebrow wax places are your holy sanctuaries.
…and you probably have them saved as a favorite contact. (Love you Farah)
17. Your iPhone tells you how long it takes to get to Olympic Collection every time you get in the car because of how frequently you go.
Saturdays. Bar Mitzvahs. 7 p.m. (AKA 9 p.m. Persian Standard Time)
18. You’ve always wondered what your grandparents’ couches would feel like without plastic on them.
19. The solution to everything is apparently lotion or cream.
“KEREM BEZAN!”
20. You’ve realized tarof-ing is NOT A GAME.
When the bill comes out, you know war is about to ensue.
Even though you can only spend so much time with your family before the crazy comes out, you still love them. (Because how else are you going to mooch your way into stealing the last tahchin?)
