Why You Shouldn’t Gossip in College
Society thrives on our tendency to hate ourselves. Every product we are sold promises to improve on our current condition. I have recently realized that for young women, self hatred often manifests itself in a form we all know too well. Gossip.
Why do we gossip? Well, Google tells us…
“People who don’t feel good about themselves temporarily feel better when they judge others negatively. When people can’t generate interesting discussions based on knowledge or ideas, gossip can rouse people’s interest. People gossip in order to hurt those whose popularity, talents, or lifestyle they envy.”
Anyone possessing the simplest of cognitive skill would think, “Obviously that’s why people gossip! Why would I ever take part in something so trivial?”
But for some reason, so many of us, especially young women, are conditioned to gossip every day.
Since the day we first stepped foot on the playground, we were trained to take others down. We have all learned to form bonds with the “powerful” at the expense of the weak, in order to combat our own insecurities.
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I went to an extremely small high school. This environment thrived on gossip.
Many of my conversations either ended in a small jibe at another girl, or a full blown ripping them to shreds (with a poised smile, of course). It’s funny how something so simple and commonplace sounds evil when it is described as what is really is.
When competition for boys came into the mix, girls became even more vicious.
Every characteristic of the girl your crush liked was picked apart. You and your friends sat there and created a list of made up imperfections. I unfortunately was a seasoned participant in this very common girl ritual.
Every time I took part, my rational self would think, “What the hell are you doing Audrey? What if people said this about you?”
But typically, this would only occur to me for a second, because it always felt good to support my friends in their war against their high school “enemy” or to have their support against mine. Many college girls, like myself, haven’t completely outgrown this terrible habit. But we are too old for this crap. It’s time to grow up.
I have only just recently come to admit to what a hypocrite I am.
I have confidently identified as a feminist all through my teenage years, but I have joined in on the take down of any girl my friends and I felt threatened by.
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Why was I doing this? Because I, along with many of my beautiful, intelligent, hilarious friends, hated myself.
Some days it was just a little, other days it was a lot. But even on my most “confident” days, I could still find myself making snide comments about other girls, waiting for my friends to back me up.
SO…in revealing that I have been an insecure brat throughout most of my formative years, I hope to help other girls realize their part in this destructive pattern. Gossip not only diminishes its subject, it also diminishes the worth of those taking part. There is a difference between venting about a personal problem you have with someone, and consciously pointing out others’ flaws.
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It is important for us to lift each other up.
We, as women, have more important things to talk about than each others’ imperfections. Gossip is for uninteresting people who lack intelligence and ideas. We don’t have to tear others down to be happy with who we are. Loving ourselves requires us to stop being haters. I have a long way to go in taming my tongue, but the first step is admitting you have a problem ladies, lets stop treating gossip like a harmless past time.
To read more about this girl on girl “crime”, and to help do something about it, please visit here!
