It took me a while to finally get to a point in my life where sex is all about what feels good for me. No, that’s not selfish, in fact, I spent years of my life only caring about how my partner was feeling. Life lesson number one, if you enjoy yourself, odds are they will too. Below I shared some sex tips that you might not have heard before but are wildly important to having an incredible sex life.
I remember growing up and being terrified that I’d one day be put in a situation where I had the chance to have sex with someone but wouldn’t have shaved that day. That fear stemmed from stories I overheard in high school where guys thought it was “so gross” for a woman to have any hair at all. Here’s how it really is, most guys, are so excited that they’re about to get laid that they couldn’t give less of a f*** about what your hair situation is. Keep yourself groomed to your preference if you want to, but don’t do it for anyone else. The older you get, the less people care about that stuff anyways.
2. Speed Isn’t Always Your Best Bet
Please do not start to get down and dirty with someone like a racehorse at the sound of a gun. You do not need to immediately start moving at the speed of light. I think there is a stigma around slower and deeper motions that they hint there could be feelings involved and if you’re in your twenties and are just hooking up with someone, you know there is nothing scarier than thinking about the f word. Good news is, you can move slow and make your sex more intimate without it feeling like love. Some of the hottest, dirtiest, most incredible sex is a prodcut of a slow and steady one night stand.
Keeping with the idea of going slow, do not jump into things without a good amount of foreplay. Foreplay is sexy, and will make your sex two million times better. Go slow, explore each other’s bodies, and take your time. I once overheard a girl telling her best friend that she knows it’s “time to move on from foreplay after my tongue has been along every inch of his body.”. Honestly, that’s the best advice I’d ever heard. Don’t worry, you don’t have to go literally everywhere, you just need to make sure you give attention to most of that person’s body before you jump onto the main event.
Some people will scream this from the rooftops, others will turn red at the idea of it. Here’s the truth about period sex, it can be messy, sure, but it feels incredible. I obviously am speaking from a woman’s perspective but from the men I’ve asked, it also feels amazing for them. It can be scary to try especially for the first time but I can promise you, unless you’re having a really heavy flow that day, it won’t be very messy and usually subsides a little bit while having sex.
Let me start by saying, don’t ever try to do something risky without knowing your partner feels comfortable with it. Once you do have permission to explore your options with your partner’s body, take a few leaps of faith and touch places you think might feel good. Many straight men nowadays will deny the interest in anything going near or in their butts but, those who try it usually enjoy it. First of all men, take a deep breath. It’s very natural for a man’s prostate to feel good. As a woman, it can be scary to try something like that in fear they will react poorly. Well, wait until you feel comfortable and make your move, baby! Yes, there is a chance they will stop you but just let them and then move to something different. You’ll never know your partner’s body perfectly until you explore it.
Ah, a nice makeout session. Personally, sometimes I think the makeout is more fun than the sex itself, but don’t tell anyone that. My theory is, if you love kissing, you’re probably a good kisser or kissing good kissers. If you hate kissing, the opposite may be true. The reason I say this, is because, if you’ve ever really clicked with someone while kissing you know that that moment can be the sexiest thing on earth. That moment where you literally cannot get enough of kissing each other so you just keep moving closer and closer until you’re breathing together? (Okay, sorry, I got a little carried away there.). Point is, kissing can be hot, so don’t be afraid to focus on it. The way you move your tongue with theirs or bite their lip in between kisses will make all the difference in your makeout and will make you irresistible to them.
I know only a handful of girls that will look you in the eye and tell you they enjoy going down on their partners. For guys, I feel that it’s a toss up and men usually either love it or hate it. Well, for those of you that struggle to want to go down on your partner because you hate it that much, I’ve got a tip for you. Look at your partner dead in the eyes while you do it. As you see their reactions to what you’re doing, you’ll be distracted from the act itself. Plus, you’ll start to notice when they react really well and what you ‘re doing to make that happen so you can do it more often. The more attention you pay to your partner’s reactions, the more turned on you’ll get, the faster you’ll get it over with, and the better you are to become at it.
Keeping with the trend of eye contact, do it always. If you look your partner in the eye while participating in any sexual activitiy, it make’s that activity thirty times more intense. Have you ever looked someone in the eye while you finished? That experience is out of this world because it feels great and wildly intimate.
For some dynamics, it works perfectly to always have one more dominant and one more submissive person involved. For other relationships, if both people are interested in both, you’ll have to play around with it. Point is, don’t be afraid to take control even if your partner is normally the one that does. They’ll either find it wildly sexy or super cute and playful of you. Plus, men hate to admit it, but they love to be taken care of. Most men who are in control of everything around them in their day to day life will struggle to give up control in the bedroom but I promise, they’ll love it.
That’s it, Consent is Sexy. Ask for consent before you hook up with anyone. I know it can feel like it will ruin the moment but for many people, it will make the moment.
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