Remembering to take care of yourself after a breakup can be difficult. Sometimes your so attached to the past that you forget to live in the present. Basic things like even showering can be hard sometimes.
Remember that it’s ok to hurt for a while. It’s ok to cry for a while. It’s even ok to be angry for a while. Let yourself work through the grieving process. Don’t let anyone push you to get through it. You need to do it at your own pace.
Here are a few self care tips to help get you started.
A breakup isn’t the fault of just one party. Often, both parties have decided the relationship isn’t working. Or one partner no longer wants to be with the other. Unless you’ve cheated on your significant other, this breakup isn’t all your fault. Keep that in mind. Don’t blame yourself for the end of your relationship. You both had a part in it.
Is there a blessing in disguise in your breakup? Did something good come of it? Are you able to spend more time with your friends now? Or do you have more money? Are you able to stay home at night, instead of always going out?
The silver lining may simply be that you feel more at peace because you’re not always on the move. Maybe you have more free time. There are multiple ways to find a silver lining. All you have to do is look.
Make sure to do activities that you love. Don’t let your depression stop you from remembering what they were. If writing is your thing, write a journal. If jogging is your thing, train for a marathon. If coloring is your thing, indulge in a few new books and markers/pens/pencils/crayons. (Whatever it is you use!) Do something you love. Put your mind somewhere else for a while.
Leaving things at your former beau’s house means you’re constantly thinking about what you left there. Even if it’s insignificant things that normally we don’t use regularly, suddenly, it’s something we need right now. This keeps you from being able to stop thinking about them. That stops you from moving forward in your healing process.
It might sound petty, but making sure you get your belongings back right away can help you move forward in your healing process.
Stay from their social media accounts.
I. Repeat.
STAY. AWAY. FROM. THEIR. SOCIAL. MEDIA. ACCOUNTS.
Staring at their pictures, hanging on every status update, trying to figure out what they’re up to all the time? None of this is going to help. Don’t put yourself through the torture.
If they end up with someone new, please, PLEASE don’t torture yourself staring at their photos together and asking yourself what she has that you don’t. What she did right that you did wrong.
Do. Not. Contact. Them. Ignore them when they try to contact you. Better yet, block them. That way, you won’t even know when they try. Give yourself some peace. Don’t let them pull you back in. Don’t email them. Don’t call them. Don’t text them. Don’t Facebook them. Don’t Twitter them. Nothing. No contact means no contact.
It’s best for your sanity.
Wash the sheets. The blankets. Wash the shirt that’s been sitting on your dresser because it smells like them. Get rid of it all. Hanging on to the scents and memories is going to do nothing for you when it comes to moving forward.
Get rid of the memories. Clean up every corner. A clean space is a calm space. Trying to operate in chaos can make your brain feel like it’s all over the place and will prevent you from being able to ease yourself through your grieving process.
I mean, really. What makes a girl feel better than knowing you have cute/sexy new panties on under your jeans and nobody knows but you? It’s like a sexy little secret. So go buy yourself a few new pairs and enjoy the silky softness!
Bring it, girl! Put your body to the test and burn some calories. Exercise has been proven to release endorphins, which help make you happy! It’s work, but worth it. Exercise has always made me feel better when I’m done. Especially after the hot shower is done. I feel clean, I feel thin, I feel healthy. I always feel better.
This is one of my favorite self care tips.
Where there activities you enjoyed, but they didn’t? Go do them! Go enjoy yourself. Invite a friend. Or go by yourself. It really doesn’t matter. Just go and have fun. You deserve to enjoy yourself as well. Just because your relationship ended doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy. Doing things you enjoy can help you move forward and find your own happiness again.
One word.
Splurge.
Give yourself some spending money and go shopping. Get yourself those new panties, or some new clothes. If there is a new book or movie you want, go get it. If there is a movie you want to go see, GO. Just allow yourself to have some fun.
Stick to yourself for a while. Don’t worry about jumping back out into the world of dating. Let yourself get back to you first. Enjoy some time alone. Remember, the best way to love someone else is to love yourself first.
Go out and enjoy some time with your friends. Hell, you don’t have to even go out. Spend some time at each other’s houses. Spend time walking through the park. Get some baby snuggles from their little ones. Just enjoy some time with them.
Friends can really lift your spirits. They may be biased, but if they’re good friends, they’ll tell you when you’re being dumb. They’ll comfort you when you need it, and they’ll always have an ear to listen.
Stay away from places and things that are nostalgic. Clinging to those memories can keep you from pushing forward into the single life you deserve. Let them go and let yourself be happy!
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