Scary Movies That Weren’t Even Scary
Scary movies and the horror genre as a whole are some of the best movies you can watch. They can instill fear in you, and make you lose sleep for weeks after watching. Well, those are not the movies we are focusing on today. Instead, we will discuss the scary movies that were not even scary, and the ones that make you wonder how they are even classified as horror. No need to cover your eyes for these movies!
Jeepers Creepers
This one is bound to divide opinion, but Jeepers Creepers was pretty cheesy. The story is solid and can keep you entertained, but the payoffs just aren’t there. Not to mention the Jeeper Creeper person-thing looks weird. I thought this movie came out in the 90s but was shocked to learn it came out in 2001. For reference, Thirteen Ghosts came out that same year.
Unfriended
The idea of a horror movie completely within the confines of a computer desktop sounds good on paper. However, this movie lacks any real horror aspects. Apart from a few jump scares and perhaps some psychological torture, there is not much in terms of scary. Unfriended relies on the interactions of the people on the Skype call, as well as watching the main user navigate applications and web pages to keep your attention. However, if you’re like me, it did not.
Jennifers Body
This movie is one of those not scary, scary movies that is still enjoyable to watch. The plot is too dull for what they wanted it to be. It is really just about the hot cheerleader getting possessed by a demon and fills its appetite with her male students. The acting is good and the plot has some potential, but the script just was not written well enough. There are several comedic parts and great dialogue throughout the movie. There is a couple jump scares but not nearly enough for the movie to be considered an actual scary movie.
Gremlins
Gremlins is definitely not for children, between the amount of death, and even saying Santa Claus doesn’t exist, I would keep it away from the young ones. That being said, this is one of those Halloween movies that isn’t really scary. It has a great mix of cute and murder for everyone and has become one of my favorite movies. One more thing, they say you can’t feed a Gremlin after midnight but isn’t it always after before and after midnight? What are the exact times I can feed them and which time zone are we basing it off of?
Leprechaun
Any movie that is considered a “horror/comedy” is probably not going to be that scary. However, apart from some jump scares, this movie has lost the slightest bit of horror-ness it once had. Now it is mostly watched for laughs every Halloween, for its silly special effects and questionable storyline. Not to mention a pre-Friends Jennifer Aniston, this one is the bad scary movie you need to watch.
Don’t Blink
This one is personal for me and falls into the category of “sounds good on paper”. Basically, the gimmick is if you are not in the line of sight of another human being, you disappear. I wish I could tell you more but it’s basically that for 90 minutes. The beginning will lure you into a false sense of intrigue, but the lack of focus on a story of any kind will take you out of it.
JAWS
When this movie was released, it was scary. That shark had people covering their eyes in horror and was a first of its kind movie for 1975. In 2020 though, the horror aspect has worn off. That mechanical shark looks worse and worse the more that time passes and may seem even a little boring to a first-time watcher. However, that has not stopped it from remaining one of the most iconic movies of all time.
Killer Klowns From Outer Space
Okay, so I know clowns are pretty scary for a lot of people, but even if you are afraid of clowns this movie would only be creepy to you. This 1988 horror was probably scary for the young ones watching when it came out, but has since become outdated and is only watched for the gimmick of it anymore. Still, This one is still pretty scary for the kids, so if you are as bad as I am then you should turn it on for the kids.
Cabin in the Woods
Another “horror/comedy”, I actually enjoyed this movie for its story and plot twist. However, if we are making a list of not scary horror movies then this movie has to be on it. It really lacks anything that makes it a true horror movie, other than some jump scares and some monsters affecting your particular phobia. Still, you should check it out because it actually has a decent story and great CGI scenes. That elevator scene is one of my favorite movie scenes ever.
Birdemic
This movie is the best movie on this list, and anyone who is familiar with it can tell you the same. Without giving too much away, it’s a story of when birds gang up and attack. Now, our heroes must fight their way to safety in some of the best quality CGI fights I have seen in a movie to date. The suspenseful fights will leave you hanging on the edge of your seats with every swing of the machete, wondering how such a great horror film could ever end up on a list of worst horror movies.
There it was, the list of scary movies that weren’t even scary. I am well aware that some of the things on this list can give you the creeps, but that is a particular phobia to you rather than the movie building the fear. Still, some of these movies still stand as wonderful pieces of cinema that I would highly suggest you check out, especially Birdemic. If I forgot any non-scary scary movies, make sure to let me know down below!
