Love Life

10 Red Flags That He’s Not The One

There comes a point in every relationship when you realize you found the person you’re meant for or the opposite happens. It’s important to watch for red flags and listen to your gut because no one wants to waste their time dating the wrong person.

#1 He Doesn’t Share Your Interests

This is the first red flag I brushed off. Partners don’t have to be identical. Different interests are how you learn new things through your partner. Sharing what is important to you and vice versa strengthens your bond with them. Which is why I shared in his interests and went to events that he wanted to go to. However, when I wanted to go somewhere, he would find a reason to cancel and passive-aggressively blame me for why he no longer wanted to go. If your partner is inconsiderate of your interests, it’s best to cut him loose.

#2 One Sided Effort

He was a sports guy; I was artsy. I wanted to go to see live music and he wanted to watch the White Sox play. After we saw a game together, I invited him to a music festival. We planned a romantic evening in which he would make dinner for us at my apartment and then we’d go to a club that was hosting a Jazz festival event. I was excited.  It would be my first ever festival event I would attend with a guy I was dating. But after dinner, he told me he was tired, and he didn’t want to go. And so, we didn’t. This became a trend in our relationship that eventually told me he wasn’t as interested in the survival of our relationship as I was.

#3 He Doesn’t Want To Bring You Around His Friends

Meeting his friends is a big step, second only to meeting his parents. They will either like you and encourage the relationship or advise him to end it asap. If you’re an outgoing person, then this step is exciting. But if you’re an introvert like me, this step may cause you a great deal of anxiety. As for words of comfort, I have none but if they don’t like you then he’s probably not the right one for you anyway.

#4 You Don’t Meet His Family

If you’ve been dating a while, meeting the family is a natural step. I met his mother a few weeks after we started dating and afterward asked him what she thought of me. He told me he thought she liked me, and I was glad. But when I didn’t meet anyone else (including his dog) I realized he was probably not telling the truth. If he doesn’t want you to become friendly with his family this is telling that he doesn’t see you in his future.

#5 Compliments Are Scarce

This one sounds shallow, but if your man used to call you beautiful and with time switches to “You look fine” with an indifferent tone and doesn’t even look at you, then your relationship is probably dying.

#6 You Never Leave The Bedroom

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If he stops taking you out and is only interested in staying in, watching Netflix, and having sex, then he is probably only staying around for the regular sex. Once he finds someone to replace you, he’ll be gone. You better end it before he does.

#7 He Pulls Away

When a relationship first starts a guy will usually be super attentive and ask you how your day is going etc. It’s normal that once you guys begin a relationship, he doesn’t text as much as he used to. However, if he goes a full day without texting you then it’s likely he wants to end it.

#8 He Is Indifferent To Your Happiness

This usually comes towards the end of a relationship. He stops making an effort to make you feel special or doing things that he knows will make you happy. He’ll go days without texting you, make up excuses, and no longer tells you how he feels about you. Don’t let yourself be miserable for the sake of saving a failed relationship.

#9 He Lies To You

So many excuses for why he isn’t acting like he used to. When he wants to stay for selfish reasons, but he’s no longer devoted to you, he’ll make up stories to keep you. As time passes the lies are less believable, and that’s when you know it’s over.

#10 You Feel Crazy

Towards the end of my relationship with my first exclusive boyfriend, I asked him if there was anything wrong. I felt the end coming but I wanted to save our relationship. He was pulling away and I wanted to stop the bleeding. He responded with a brush-off, saying I was overthinking things and acted like I was the crazy one for questioning his feelings. Soon after, he broke up with me over text. If your gut is telling you he wants to leave, do it first.

Do any of these red flags sound familiar? What are the red flags you experienced? Let us know in the comments!
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Devin McKinley

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