Taking your own advice is oftentimes a whole lot harder than giving it to someone else; consequently, being a friend’s counselor can serve as a mask to your own problems – and prevent you from ever having to come face-to-face with them. That’s why we’ve compiled 10 reasons why we struggle to take our own advice – so you can start thinking about all that’s holding you back from bettering your life.
You know what you should do – but it’s a whole lot easier to keep that thought in the back of your mind – instead of actually acting on it. In other words, people come to you for advice, but you can only give so much – because you still have problem areas of your own. As a result, you try and be a good listener, and as supportive as you can be given the situation.
It’s a blessing and a curse because even though you care for others, you frequently forget to care for yourself. In turn, your weakness may be centered around a lack of self-reflection, as you easily pinpoint the red flags going on in everyone else’s life except your own. That’s why you try and be there for as many people as you possibly can because deep down you know that even if you can’t necessarily help yourself, you can still do justice in helping those you love.
We’ve all been in denial at one point or another, but the true problems arise when we struggle to get back out of it. In other words, we’ve convinced ourselves that the situations we are in aren’t as bad as they seem. Another example of this is when you start looking at the problem areas and believing that the red flags aren’t really red flags.
You can’t decide who you want to facepalm first – your friend or yourself – because that’s how blatantly obvious their situation seems. As a result, you wonder where it all went wrong – and why they’re unable to see it like you can. In your eyes, their rationale seems off, but in theirs, everything seems to make sense; unfortunately, just as denial plays a key part in their problem, it can in yours too.
The truth may be good for you, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard to hear at times. In fact, sensitive situations can cause you a lot of pain when someone speaks about them – or tells you something that you have yet to accept. In other words, you are easily honest with others, but being honest with yourself is something you’re still in the process of working on. Fortunately, a part of counseling others is following through with your own advice.
Some of us, however, aren’t in denial about our own problems, love self-reflecting, and don’t mind hearing the truth. But even so, some simply don’t want to take their own advice. The fact of the matter is that they have no care for their current situation – or circumstance – and may take it lightly as a result of such. In turn, they immerse themselves in other people’s problems.
The consequences – that come with this one – stem around the fact that you have too much on your plate; as a result, you don’t want to be forced to think about all that your facing. After all, you have a billion and one other things going on – so in the moment – the more rational decision is to push aside the problems, and save them for another day. Unfortunately, that day never comes, and the advice you’d once have given yourself is repressed right along with everything else.
You can give out advice like it’s nobody’s business, but taking your own is a whole other story. In other words, you feel as though you don’t need it, and carry a certain mindset on the matter that runs along the lines of “only you know what’s best for you.”; In turn, what you say to others doesn’t feel as though it relates to you, so you close your ears to the very same advice you’ve given to others.
You’ve tried time and time again to hold yourself accountable, but every time you do, you only seem to fail. You might question yourself – or wonder why this happens – but deep down you know exactly what the culprit is; it comes in the form of anxiety. In turn, this oftentimes prevents you from going in the direction you so badly want to go in. Your nerves get the best of you, and even after you’ve worked so hard to overcome them, the thought of applying your own advice to certain situations still causes your stomach to flip inside out.
Being put in a place where you’re unsure of the outcome can make for a risky situation; not only that but the thought of not knowing what might come after can be reason alone for why you choose to remain sedentary, instead of moving forward. In other words, you begin to grow comfortable in a certain lifestyle – or circumstance – to the point where you don’t even realize just how harmful it is on you, as it takes its toll bit by bit.
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