Categories: City Life

12 Reasons To Love And Hate Clubs

Clubs can be puke fests full of poor life decisions and even poorer coping mechanisms. But they can also be thrilling experiences that you’ll remember long after you depart. Clubs are designed to raise your dopamine levels, and they’ve certainly perfected the art. Without further ado, here are twelve reasons to love and hate clubs.

1. The Grinding

Grinding is obviously pleasurable for the people engaged in it. But that’s not exactly the case for everyone else. Yes, the club is a place to let go of your inhibitions and enjoy breaking social barriers. Grinding, however, reduces a fun experience to an orgy with clothes. I understand that many people go to clubs to hookup, but I may be old-fashioned in the sense that I don’t want a guy dry humping next to me while I’m trying to dance. It just tends to kill the vibe.

2. Puking

I’ve never quite understood this one, because I always assume that people have the self-restraint to stop drinking. My presumptions are usually incorrect though, and shortly after entering the bathroom, I’ll hear the thunderous roar of projectile vomit. While the sound may be melodic, I can’t help but think of the strong smell of puke. And occasionally, that’s because I’m close enough to actually smell it.

3. Aggressively Flirtatious

Just anecdotally, this tends to happen more to my female friends than to myself. Sometimes I’ll give the guys a reproachful look, but most of the time I’m non-confrontational. It can be entertaining but at the same time pitiful to watch. Aside from the occasional asshole, they’re typically harmless though. Some are incredibly brazen and persistent, but most accept the rejection. They’re just unpleasant and smelly.

4. The Sober One

There’s always that one friend who’s completely sober throughout the whole experience. Admittedly, I’ve been this friend in the past. But after I got drunk for the first time, I realized just how much I was erring. Not because being drunk is the most fantastic experience in the world, but because your sober friends will provoke feelings of guilt afterwards. It’s not that they’re meaning to send you down a guilt trip. It’s just that any grown adult with any degree of remorse will feel guilty for having to be babysat for a night. Unfortunately, at least one sober friend is necessary; sparing your feelings isn’t worth risking your life. That being said, I still don’t want to be that friend.

5. The Crowd

If you’ve ever gone to a club, you know that the dance floor is always packed. Sometimes being inches away from a complete stranger can feel exhilarating. Rarely do social precepts allow us to be in such close proximity with a complete stranger. Other times, the closeness is hot and unbearable. I don’t think most people like to feel like they’re being ensnared by a bunch of hot, drunken fools, especially when the alcohol hasn’t kicked in yet.

6. The Alcohol

I don’t know about you, but I absolutely despise the taste of alcohol. I realize that most adults agree that alcohol is an acquired taste, but at this point I’m really starting to wonder when I’ll acquire it. Then again, I don’t consider myself an adult yet, so I wouldn’t be a part of that consensus. But, to all the kids out there who prefer their bitch drinks, I’m sure you’ll agree with me when I say that alcohol isn’t the highlight of clubbing.

7. The Hangover

I don’t think explaining this one is at all necessary to the people who have experienced it. If you’re not already aware, hangovers fucking suck. Luckily, I’ve never actually experienced a hangover, but I’m still pretty certain the general consensus is a thumbs down.

Let’s finally move on to the pros of going out clubbing. I could have broken this list apart evenly between the good and the bad. But from making this list, I’ve found that I can more readily come up with cons. Regardless, your experience typically hinges on your mood, and most nights the pros outweigh the cons.

8. Friends

Don’t go to clubs without your friends! Besides the pity you’ll evoke from other people, you won’t enjoy the experience near as much. Laughing at or with your drunk friends brings life to the experience. Otherwise, you’re just dancing in a room with a bunch of nameless, faceless people.

9. The Rush

This one could be mentioned in conjunction with the lights, the music, and the overall atmosphere. But those aspects of clubbing have there cons. The rush, however, is invariably the best part of clubbing. It’s in the lights, the music and your friends. I don’t know the exact science behind how clubs are able to trigger high amounts of dopamine. But they most definitely do, and that’s why the cash keeps flowing.

10. The Lights

They may trigger a rise in dopamine, but they can also trigger epilepsy. Some of the best aspects of clubbing are also the worst. One such aspect is the lights. For someone who’s sensitive to sensory experience, it took awhile before I got accustomed to the lights. Once I did, they elevated the experience. It’s just a matter of getting used to them. Obviously, certain people like epileptics and severe autistics can react adversely to the lights and really shouldn’t ever go clubbing. For everyone else, the lights are just something to get accustomed to.

11. The Music

The blaring music is another thing I was ambivalent toward at first. On the one hand, it’s exhilerating. On the other, it’s loud as hell. Now, I’ve come to love the music at clubs, because its just so damn thrilling. Sure, it’s not thoughtful in any way. You won’t spend the morning after trying to decipher the lyrics. Club music is just meant to be heart pounding fun. However, if you’re easily inundated, the feeling can be much more akin to an anxiety attack.

12. Being Drunk

I have a love/hate relationship with my drunk self. In a sense, I admire him for his courage. But…I regret most of what he says and does the next day. Especially when flirting, drunk me falls a bit short.