10 Reasons I Wish I Grew Up Literally Anywhere BUT Cranston, RI

We all dream about living somewhere else. Like living in a town lined with beautiful, pristine beaches or filled with friendly faces. Cranston, RI has some perks, such as there are many, many great places to eat at. However, there are some rather bad qualities about this small city that makes you consider packing a bag and buying a plane ticket to somewhere far away. Check out the reasons why.

1. Potholes

There is no such thing as smooth sailing in Rhode Island. Expect your car to rattle every time it is on the road.

2. Lack of Scenery

Unlike the cool towns in South County like Narragansett and Westerly, Cranston profoundly lacks scenery. The land is covered by shops, restaurants, and houses.

3. Everyone Knows Everyone’s Business

Rhode Island is small and no matter where you are in the state, someone knows your business. Just make sure not to do anything scandalous or worthy of attention, or you might find yourself being stared at in the grocery store.

4. Nothing is New

Unlike the towns in Massachusetts where everything is brand spanking new, here in Cranston, every building and plaza looks old, dirty, dilapidated, and from the 1970’s.

5. You have to Travel to the Next Town Over if You Need to Do Anything

If you need to go shopping, you have to travel to the Warwick Mall, Providence Place Mall, or even Smithfield Commons – and any Rhode Islander would agree that that is a lot of traveling (we don’t like traveling anywhere that takes longer than 15 minutes). There is Garden City in Cranston, but that doesn’t even suffice since there are not many stores for a broke twenty something year old to shop at. They do have Anthropologie, yet walking into that store makes you feel like a peasant.

6. The Weather is Strange

Typical New England Weather: You step out one day, it is grey, raining, and freezing. The next day, it is bright, sunny and 85°. What is worse is that when a simple rainstorm hits, it leads to disastrous flooding on Oakland Ave.

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7. Nobody Knows How to Drive

We cannot even blame the potholes on this one. Seriously, most people forget that their cars are actually built with blinkers. They also believe that if you are trying take a left turn, you must block an entire lane of traffic until someone on the other side finally lets you go. Also, they believe that stop signs in a residential area is optional.

8. The Cranston Accent

You probably have the “Crannnston” Accent, and you are probably deeply embarrassed by it.

9. Everything Closes Early, Even on the Weekends

There is not much of a night life in Cranston. Regular businesses close the minute it gets dark outside so if you get out work at 5:00 pm and need to get something done like an oil change, you are out of luck. If you want to do anything fun pass 8:00pm like go to a theater, show or club, you have go to Providence instead.

10. Nothing to Do but Eat

This already has been established in #5 and #9, but there is seriously nothing to do in Cranston. The zoo is in Providence. There is no movie theaters in Cranston. There is no touristy destinations like a museum, or a beach. All there is to do is eat; which is Cranston’s one redeeming quality. There are so many restaurants, from family owned businesses to small joints where you can get a quick bite, that is nearly impossible to be healthy, trim and fit when there is a restaurant at every single corner. It is to the point that two annual events occur in Cranston, the St. Mary’s Feast and the Greek Festival, both in which people go to for the delicious food.