Being dumped sucks, but it is usually a blessing in disguise. When you’re feeling down after a break-up just remember, if you were meant to be with them, you still would be. When the first guy I dated exclusively left, I was crushed. But as I began to heal I realized he wasn’t the Prince Charming I thought him.
Once Upon A Time, a boy asked a girl to be his exclusive girlfriend. She said yes and it was the happiest she had felt in a long time. Her first exclusive boyfriend. Everything was beautiful. Her happily ever after was right in front of her. What could go wrong?
There comes a moment in a dying relationship when doubt creeps in and all your fears begin to realize. I close my eyes and remember the dread I felt the night I realized my boyfriend wanted to end it. It’s a terrible feeling and still sends a chill up my spine. Having feelings for someone who once had feelings for you and no longer does sucks. And even though I still feel the pain of that breakup, I know we weren’t right for each other. He broke up with me over text and that is more telling of how he felt about me than anything he could have said.
Being dumped feels terrible. But people leave for a reason. I was unhappy in my first relationship, but I wanted to save it so I wouldn’t be alone. Don’t be like me. Saving something at the expense of your self- respect is never worth it. After he left, I was no longer anxious, but toxically depressed and unmotivated. Getting up for school was a constant challenge and my self- confidence had left the building. I was always taking trips back home to escape the consuming loneliness I felt, but sometimes even that didnt help. When you break up with him or vice versa, try not to dwell on sad feelings because that blocks good things from coming your way.
Being dumped is easier than staying with someone who has already emotionally left. It is exhausting, stressful, and unhealthy. I didn’t realize that until it was over. I don’t know exactly when he stopped caring for me, but I noticed it most in how we had sex. It was less loving and felt more like I could be anyone and he just wanted something to bang. As a result of my fears being realized, I became clingy because I knew in my heart that one of these times will be the last I see of him. Now that he’s gone I feel less anxious and have stopped worrying about him because I’ve accepted the outcome.
Being dumped is one of the worst feelings a person is capable of feeling. After I stopped wallowing in my self inflicted misery, a lot of good things happened. My grades improved, I slept better, and I began to smile again. But more than that, I gained a writing internship and a paying job. I realize now that he was a distraction from what I wanted to do with my life and the steps I needed to take to get there. I was also confirmed into the Catholic Church and my faith helped to pull me out of the darkness. Being happy is so important and if you aren’t happy in a relationship it’s time to end it no matter how much you might care for your partner.
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