Sometimes being put on the spot can make you forget everything you were going to ask or forget any intuitive conversations you wanted to spark up. Having a list of good questions in mind can go a long way. Branch out from the standard “where do you work”, “what’s your major”, “where did you grow up” questions that everybody asks. These questions to ask help you really get to know someone you’re dating or trying to become friends with.
It may seem cliche to ask about family, and you may be thinking, “everyone always asks about family first!” but that is actually not always the case. Family is the obvious question to ask since they are, in most cases, such huge parts of your life but from what I have experienced, people do not ask about family until after we have already gotten to know each other. To know if they are an only child to a child of eight can say a lot about what type of personality they might have. In addition, getting them to talk about their family life can bring a more intimate touch to the conversation.
The why is an essential part to getting an actual conversation going instead of just hoping for a one-worded response and letting an awkward silence fill the room. Inquiring about where they love to go, whether it’s a lake nearby where they grew up, another state, their friend’s house, or the shady spot in their backyard, you’re bound to get a meaningful or funny answer. You’ll be getting to know them in no time!
This can get more interesting than you could ever imagine! This is a funny way to grapple at their past. Most guys (or girls) try to avoid everything embarrassment when they are first starting to date in fear of ‘not seeming cool’. A totally unnecessary trend in my opinion. Humanize yourself and be you! Everybody has those embarrassing stories and it’ll bring a realistic vibe to your relationship right off the bat. Plus haven’t you heard that laughing is good for you? This is another one of the questions to ask.
This is good to know for the future, if you bake them some delicious cookies or an artfully prepared dinner so that you don’t end up in the hospital. What an awkward third date when you have to apologize for poisoning them with an allergy you didn’t know they had. Yikes. It also is fun to see of they are the type of person to not be allergic to anything, be allergic to EVERYTHING, or have some weird allergy you’ve never heard of.
Let me hit you with a classic that comes up eventually. This will surprisingly tell you a lot more about them than you think. If you wait until that date you eventually go to the movies, they may just agree to go to the movie that you suggest because they want to keep dating you. Then 2 years later it’s revealed they hated that genre and you were so wrong about thinking you had the same favorite movie. Clear it up now and then you may discover a more genuine answer and find your similarities from there. And then if they still agree to go to a movie which they previously proclaimed to not like, then you know they really like you. Game on. This is one of the questions to ask!
If traveling is something important to you, see if they have a wanderlust in them too! Perhaps in the future they’ll travel with you if you end up sticking together. Seeing where they would love to travel can also give you a lot of hidden information about them, such as if they are tropical, like hiking, seeing the mountains, want to help out children in need, go to the bluest beaches, or love to learn about different cultures. This is key information to get to know them better!
At first glance this seems like a strange question to ask, but it’s actually pretty intuitive into their daily lives. Are they the type of person who likes to eat out every day? Are they the type to make their food at home every day of the week? Sometimes people will love to create a masterpiece of food every day, and sometimes they make something simple because they just don’t want to be eating out everyday. Some people Like to eat at the same restaurant because it’s their favorite and they do not branch out to try different food. Others will want to dine somewhere different every time they go out because they love trying something different even if they don’t know if they’ll like it. You’ll see if they stay inside their comfort zone or don’t even have a comfort zone. You can learn a lot from just how they like to eat food. You ‘ll be surprised.
Anything diving into their past is always a good source of getting to know them better. Their answer could tell you if they preferred being alone or being around others, if they loved taking risks, were prone to getting injured, or the one who was super apprehensive about doing crazy stuff. You could even see if they had big imaginations or preferred being outside or inside. Even if that doesn’t seem like them anymore, everyone knows there’s always a little bit of child left inside. This is another one of the questions to ask!
Are they the relaxing type? Ask this to find out– and you’ll get to see where they relax as well without having to ask a separate question! It’s good to know whether they prefer relaxing most of the time or they only relax when someone forces them to. And to see if they feel the most relaxed in a space around people, minimal people, or completely alone can say a lot about them too. Dare to dig deep.
Hobbies are essential to their personality. What they choose to do outside of school or work are pieces of them they chose to continue using. This is where you can find things you have in common or hobbies you never would have thought of but you can explore with the other person now. The adventurous side can come out if they turn out to have any extraordinary hobbies, such as skydiving, mountain climbing, cliff jumping, multi-day camping trips, or scuba diving. Not to mention it’s impressive! This is one of the questions to ask!
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