Breakups are never easy. They’re almost always heartbreaking for one side or the other. Sometimes, it’s heartbreaking for both parties.
Sometimes, though, sometimes, breakups can be nasty. No heartbreak for either party. Usually only anger and hurt for actions taken. Sometimes breakups can be dangerous.
If you’re leaving a dangerous relationship, here are 10 things you need to do to in the case of a nasty breakup. (Take my word for it. I’m dealing with all of these things at this very moment. Every. Single. Step. Is. So. So. Important.)
If you’re worried about them trying to contact you, change your number. I know it’s a pain in the rear for everything else that you have to change it with, but it’s worth it, trust me. Not having to worry every time your phone rings or beeps can help you stay calm.
If you change your number, only give it to the very important people at first. If you end up giving it to everyone, it may end up right back in your ex’s phone book. Wait to give it out to your extended friends until things have cooled off between you and your ex.
Much like your phone number, your ex likely has your email address as well. Change it. Again, I know this is a royal pain in the a**. But if it comes down to having to make two dozen phone calls and worrying and stressing every time your phone goes off, I’d rather make all the calls.
If you’ve changed your number, chances are good that your ex will try to contact you via email.
Like with your phone number, only give it to the people that it’s absolutely necessary to at first. As things cool down, you can give it out to others.
If the two of you shared a bank account, open your own ASAP. If you didn’t, it might still be wise to take your dough and move to another bank. If he tries to get into your account and your current bank, the teller may not know the two of you are broken up and allow him to take cash, because you’ve approved it in the past. Especially if you live in a small town and are a known couple.
Taking your cash somewhere new gives you peace of mind that he doesn’t have access to your account or your account number. It’s a small piece of mind. You’ll also get a new debit card and any recurring charges on the old account will not go through. You’ll be notified when charges are declined and that will help you change your information over to the new account.
One of the MOST IMPORTANT things you need to do is change your password. Change ALL OF THEM. As soon as you can. If your relationship was like mine, your significant other had ALL your passwords. I got locked out of accounts because of it. He posted personal stuff on my Facebook because of it.
CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS. Do it quick. Make sure they’re entirely different from what you would normally use. You want to make sure that if he’s angry, he can’t get into your accounts and mess with your life. I can’t stress how important changing your passwords is.
If you have a steady routine outside of the house, you may want to consider changing it. Change your route home from work. Change your favorite gas station. Change where you park your car. Change what time you leave for work, or come home. If it’s possible, ask your boss for a variety of shift times for a while.
If your breakup is nasty enough that you’ve gotten to this point, make sure you stick with it and don’t fall back into a routine your ex will recognize.
Find a therapist to help you work through your feelings. It can be confusing. It can be scary. Seeking counseling will help you work through what you’re dealing with. It can also help you find resources needed and give you a non-bias person to speak with.
Be honest with them about what’s going on so they can help you to the best of their abilities.
You don’t know what’s on it. There are so many different apps that can track your phone. There are so many different techniques that can be used on your phone to watch you. My ex had a tracker that allowed him to tap into the microphone and camera whenever he wanted. I had no idea. The technology is out there, ladies.
Wiping your phone back to factory settings is second only to buying a new one, but I realize that isn’t always possible. Resetting your phone to factory setting should remove any apps or spyware that may be on your device.
If the two of you lived together, make sure your mail starts getting forwarded as soon as possible. Most of us don’t get much via ‘snail mail’ anymore, but just in case.
I know most of my medical bills still came to my mailbox. I had my mail forwarded at my very first opportunity. Make sure you get what’s supposed to come to you.
Making sure that you surround yourself with people you trust is vital. If you’re worried that your ex is going to do something mean or vicious, keeping yourself surrounded by safe people can help keep your anxiety down. It can be nerve-wracking going through a nasty breakup. Do what you can to keep yourself calm.
Never in a million years did I ever think I would need this one. But then, one day, I did. I had to seek out an Order For Protection after he broke my arm. My broken arm occurred before our nasty breakup, but things like this can still occur afterward, as well.
If you’re the one who chose to end it, the other party may not want to accept it and will do what they feel they need to to get you back. Don’t fall for it. You two broke up for a reason.
Even if you know it’s the right thing, it’s going to hurt once in a while. Let it. But then move on.
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