Living at home again carries a stigma that frankly isn’t pleasant. But there’s no shame, and it does not make you a failure. There are tons of advantages to living at home again, and the only person standing in the way of that is you.
Perspective changes every story. Truly you have two options: feel sorry for yourself or remind yourself this doesn’t define anything significant about you. More than likely, this situation of living at home again is temporary. No one charmed you with an unbreakable spell forbidding you from ever leaving again.
You could see living at home again as a prison, or you could be thankful you still have a place to live. It’s easy to focus on everything you might feel you lost by living at home again: freedom, privacy, independence. But that will lead you down a rabbit hole to a dark and twisted wonderland.
So focus on what you’ve gained: time, companionship, endless support, and safety. It’s not easy to alter the way you think. Often, the first thoughts that come to our mind are reflexive, routine, and unconscious. So actively changing that takes work. It’s a muscle you have to develop into your ideal image.
Some tricks to help you refocus and show up more consistently with a positive mindset are: address what’s really upsetting you about living at home again. Get personal with it. Then thank it for its time and let it go.
Start your day living at home with positive thoughts about yourself and your situation. Meditation or journaling can help you focus and start your day the right way. Don’t limit yourself based on your environment. You are still a badass with unlimited opportunities to succeed.
Whatever the circumstances are that brought you back to living at home, they don’t make you a failure. In fact, you have the incredible opportunity and space to reflect on them and grow from what happened.
While living at home again, falling back into old habits could be just as easy and dangerous as falling on black ice. You did not move back into a time capsule holding you stagnant to a specific version of yourself. Pick up new skills or hobbies. Finally learn a language you’ve always wanted to learn. Volunteer at one of your hometown charities or nonprofits you were too busy for in highschool.
If you don’t want to feel like you’ve taken a step backward by living at home again, push yourself forward into an improved version of yourself. Look at your hometown with new eyes, and find places to insert yourself.
You won’t ever have time to spend with them like this again. It’s a unique opportunity people don’t take as the gift it is. Yes, you’re getting older and moving forward. But in all the time you grow into independence, your parents grow older.
You’re an adult now, and they will talk to you like one. Get to know your parents on a new level; remember they were real people before they were “parents.” Have you ever taken the time to ask them about their lives when they were young? Odds are, they have some crazy stories. Remember, they grew up in a time without the threat of technology to rat them out.
I know it was hard to admit as a teenager, but your parents actually know what they are talking about. Sometimes. Really listen to them when they give you advice. They have a little more in the experience department than you.
One of the best parts about getting older is becoming friends with your parents. They are fun; so set up some little traditions while you’re home. Have a weekly night of creative cocktails. Cook with your mom or dad one night. Find a new show to binge-watch as a family. While living at home with your parents, take advantage of the amount of time you get to spend with them. After you move out, life can get busy, so make an effort now.
More importantly, respect them, and thank them for everything they are doing to help you right now.
Make your own routine and stick to it. Ask family members who are still living at home to respect that routine. Make an effort to leave your house and see friends if that’s still possible. Before when you lived at home you might have felt trapped in the routine and habits of your parents, but it doesn’t need to be that way again.
Find ways to give yourself space outside of the house. It can feel cramped if you’re always home and not pushing yourself to keep living independently. Take mini-vacations like road trips or be a tourist in your home town. If you’re living at home again in a different city or state from before, take a drive to see your friends where you lived before.
Some ways to remind yourself you’re still an adult, even while living at home again, are: don’t let your parents do your laundry. Take the initiative to help clean and maintain your house. Nothing will make you feel more like a teenager than your mom or dad nagging you to clean up or do the dishes. Contribute to bills, groceries, or minimal rent, if that’s financially possible for you.
Nothing about living at home again stunted your ability to live your life, and the only thing truly preventing that is your mental perspective. So break down the walls, if there are any.
Allow yourself to sit back and reflect on everything you were doing before living at home again. What were the positives? What were the negatives? Make a list and highlight what you want to carry with you into your next chapter after living at home again.
Get crazy. Allow yourself to dream big. You have the time to make it happen.
Remember how excited you were to move out of your house the first time? Find that excitement again and feed it. Get really clear about the life you want to be living and map out the steps needed to get there.
Odds are living at home again lessened your responsibility load. Use that extra space in your head to focus and bring action to your goals. Mind map, research, make a vision board. Whatever you need to do to remind yourself to keep pushing. Every detail of your ideal post living at home life should be accounted for.
You have the urgency to reach your next chapter from wanting to get out of living at home again, without the pressure of bills, rent, lease agreements, and other “adulting” responsibilities. That’s an incredible opportunity. It’s rare you actually get to hit the restart button on life.
Like any other time in your life, living at home again will be over before you realize it. You’ll miss the companionship and caring attitudes of your parents surrounding you 24/7. Even, if at the time it felt smothering.
You have fewer responsibilities living at home, and as you move forward into your next chapter, those responsibilities will return tenfold. Plus, a home-cooked meal almost every night goes out the window. Something about the food you didn’t have to make always tastes better.
The time of your life of living at home again isn’t a setback. Odds are you’ll be thankful for the opportunity and all the chances it gave you. Don’t squander it. The more you fight what’s being given to you the longer you’ll be stuck in misery.
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