Is it love or lust? How do you know when your obsession is a sign of your heartfelt love for someone, or, a sign that your libido can’t do without them? Sex is such a highly passionate and highly emotional phase that we don’t realize how much we’re actually exchanging when we do it. You don’t need a doctor to explain to you what that strong emotionally-attached feeling is that you get when you can’t hookup with someone again. Or where that sadness and sorrow comes from when your lover cuts you off. Love is love and lust is lust. They surely are different and here’re 8 ways to tell how.
The first obvious way to tell if it’s love or lust is by seeing where the aching is coming from. Sounds silly right? But it’s factual. When you get around your S.O., does your stomach tingle a bit? I mean high up in that area between your stomach and your ribs. Do you feel overwhelmed with joy to be in their precense? Then you’re likely in love not lust; but if your pelvis is vibrating instead, and all you can think about, and feel, is your mid section throbbing…it ain’t about the heart. Sexual excitement can occur if you love someone too, but it shouldn’t be the only reaction you get to their presence all the time.
This is a trick question because it used to be a thing that you didn’t have to actually like someone to love them. Something to do with not controlling who you fall in love with. Yeah. That’s myth to me. Think about it. How can you really say you love someone if you don’t even like them? Is it really possible to hold a relationship together without enjoying your partners company? I don’t think so. It’s easy to say you love someone especially if you’re lusting over them. If you wanna feel their body bad enough you’ll say anything. Those words can literally roll off the tongue. But if you really care about your S.O. as an aspect of your life, it’s probably because you like and enjoy a lot of things about them other than what happens between the sheets. Another way to tell the difference between love and lust is by knowing if you actually like the person.
Sometimes when you’re apart from someone you care about, you worry about them. You think about whether they made it to work safely, or whether that flu they had is letting up. You want to call em whenever you get a chance and not to tell them you been thinking about them all day, but worrying. Although you may mask it by saying you missed them. A way to tell the difference between love or lust is if you’re getting the hots for your S.O. all day instead. When you hit them up via text or DM, are you saying “hey how’s your day going,” or “hey when are we gonna hookup?”
Speaking of which, when you spend time with your S.O. what are you more concerned with? If you’re feeling like time is dragging when you’re around them and you want to get off, and it’s taking too long to get there, chances are you’re lusting for homeboy/homegirl. A way to tell the difference between love and lust is how you enjoy spending time with them. It definitely shouldn’t always be about sex when you’re around them no matter how much you enjoy sleeping with the person.
Erratically obsessing over someone can be a sign of many things. A sign of love? I think not. When you love someone you are practical and reasonable because you’re managing someone else’s feelings other than your own. You can’t really bring yourself to overwhelm them if you actually care about them. All you truly want is for them to be content and happy. And happiness does not come from obsessive behavior. When you’re obsessed you’re more concerned with personal needs; needs of pleasure and your own selfish wants with that person. You overwhelm them with attention they may not even want. That’s not love. If you’re showing addictive behavior, it can indicate that you’re lusting for your S.O. instead.
I don’t know about everyone else. I find it hard to lie to someone I have true feelings for. If you’re doing the shit-talking or they are, there can’t be any true feelings holding you together. Maybe it’s just that the sex is so good, you put up with the lies? Sort this out soon, because lust doesn’t turn to love later on. This is a definite way to tell the difference between love or lust.
If you’re in a relationship with someone whom you think you may love, but you can outright say, “I can let go if I had to,” you can’t really be in love with them. Someone in love never wants to let go. You want to hold on in any way possible, that allows you to still care for that person. If you’re in lust, you may put up a fight but eventually you can let go because all you really had was good sex.
What does it mean to you to get intimate with your partner? Is it an emotional thing “you can’t explain” or a practice where you’re actually concerned with pleasing the other person? Is it passionate because you feel emotionally attached to that person? This sounds like the intercourse of lovers to me. Whereas having sex in lust is more action-based. The only emotion you may express is excessive want, and that’s it. This can tell you the difference between love or lust. Love isn’t always an uncontrollable emotion when it comes to sex. If the feelings are wavy and you feel like you’re sexual desire for the person is uncontrollable, you should definitely revaluate them.
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