If Social Networks Were People In High School

Have you ever wondered what would social networks be like if they were people? What if their attributes were personified? What would they be like if they were in high school? What cliques would they be in?

Well, I have. Here’s what types of people I think social networks would be if they were in high school and what cliques they’d be in.

1. Facebook

Clique: Drifters

Facebook used to be popular back in the early years of high school when he was at his peak. Now, he isn’t exactly popular anymore, but he knows everyone. And he throws a lot of parties in hopes he can become popular again. And knowing everyone also makes it easy to invite them to parties and just be the key party thrower. He’s a classic oversharer and will overshare small insignificant details of his life if you give him the chance. He’s also great at getting people to overshare their personal lives too. So be careful what you say around him if you don’t want anything getting out.

2. Twitter

Clique: Yearbook committee

Twitter is super talkative. She loves talking in short bursts and is always getting side-tracked, changing topics and losing focus. Like Facebook, she also loves telling you the small insignificant details of her life and sharing everyone’s gossip. So be careful around her. But she’s also obsessed with keeping up to date with celebrities and what’s happening in the celeb world, so if you’re lucky, your secrets will probably get lost in bigger news. She’s most likely on the yearbook committee or has a blog about school gossip, like Gossip Girl, or both.

3. Instagram

Clique: Photography club

Instagram is very artsy and is into photography. She’s all about the aesthetic. She’s a bit insecure and is constantly seeking other people’s validation. She’s obsessed with having brunch out. Be careful if you go out for brunch with her because she’ll make your food participate in a photo shoot and won’t let you eat until she’s done. Oh, and she’s probably a vegan.

4. Tumblr

Clique: Goths

Tumblr is a goth, and she’s also into grunge. She loves reading John Green, and she read his books before he was cool. In fact, she liked most things before they were cool. She’s all about that black and white aesthetic, black boots and fishnet tights. She loves reading books and picking out their quotes, but will read books in private so as not to taint her goth aesthetic.

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5. Snapchat

Clique: Scenesters

Snapchat is obsessed with filming every aspect of her life in short bursts and sharing it with everyone. She wants to prove to everyone she’s really ‘living’ her life to the fullest and wants to make everyone jealous about all of the cool experiences she’s having. But she’s way too busy capturing moments instead of actually living them. And deep down, she’s afraid life is passing her by and fears she’s missing out on all the exciting things life has to offer.

6. YouTube

Clique: I.T. or drama club

YouTube loves funny videos and conspiracy theory videos. He’s constantly watching them and consuming them, moving from one thing to the next. He’ll either be an actor in the drama club, or he’ll be in I.T. crowd. He also loves making videos and has a bit of a flair for acting. He loves filming himself in his bedroom but may want to take that to the next level and onto the stage. He’s also comfortable being behind the camera. He has a weird sense of humour which usually scares most people off.

Do you agree with my personifications? If not, what do you think they would be like? What do you think the social networks I haven’t included would be like as people?