I Went On A Crazy Tinder Date, And This Is Why I’m Deleting The App
Tinder … you either love it or you hate it and the line between the two is extremely thin. Crossing it is way easier than you may think! Just try going on a few dates and you’ll soon realise there is no hope left and if you want to find true love, you should try to do it the old fashioned way!
Yes, I’ve been there. Tinder used to be a place to meet new people for me, I wasn’t really looking for feelings, but if they appeared – that would be nice! After using this app for a while and chatting with a bunch of guys I stumbled across Ryan. Saying he was hot is an understatement. He literally looked like a god sent from above. I swiped right and my heart jumped with joy when we matched.
‘This is my chance’ I thought.
And we started talking.
He was funny, charming and polite and deep down I knew it was too good to be true. I guy like him wouldn’t be on Tinder, he probably got marriage proposals daily. But my lonely (maybe a little desperate) self, shut down any second thoughts and misdoubts about him.
Really quickly Ryan made me feel like I was the only girl he was talking to and instead of facing the music, I started to believe it.
Weeks passed and he finally asked me out.
I was in heaven. We talked almost every day, we got to know each other pretty well and I didn’t have any doubts. I already planned our wedding and never knew how quickly things would go horribly wrong.
We decided to go for some drinks at the local bar. I knew that place pretty well and I was friends with some of the stuff so I knew that if Ryan murdered me, there would be witnesses to give his exact description.
When I arrived, he still wasn’t there. I told myself that it was fine, he was probably stuck in traffic or had an emergency. When I texted him, he saw my message but left me on read, which I found a perfect excuse for as well. Especially since fifteen minutes later he actually replied with a short ‘will be there soon’. This is when I got a little mad but decided to not let that ruin our date.
It wasn’t fifteen minutes. It was over half an hour, which made him forty-five minutes late. I was getting ready to leave when I smelled something disgusting. I turned around to find the source of the smell and I saw Ryan.
Only, it wasn’t really Ryan. He looked similarly, but much older, like his ‘more realistic version’.
‘Hi, Karen!’ he yelled, even though it wasn’t loud and he was standing pretty close. And, most importantly – my name is NOT Karen. I was fuming inside at this point, but something, unfortunately, told me to give this guy another chance.
When he sat down I realised that the disgusting smell was still in the air, so to start a conversation I asked:
‘Oh my God, can you smell that?’
This answer made me want to run for my life.
‘Oh yeah, it’s probably me, hehe, I have this bet with my friends who will not shower for the longest. I think I’m gonna win, it’s been almost a month and I feel fine’
I almost vomited in my mouth. Not only was this guy a catfish (I later found out that he used pictures of his brother on Tinder), he also was extremely late, didn’t know my name, smelled like trash and just admitted he hadn’t had a shower in weeks.
I decided it was my cue to leave. I pretended to get a really important call from my friend who was really concerned with my cat’s health. I told Ryan that I have to go, grabbed my things and run out of the bar for dear life.
He followed me. As I was waiting for my uber he was telling me that he thinks we are soulmates, how great it feels to meet someone like me. I’m usually way too polite in this kind of situations, so I just nodded and prayed for my driver to get to me on time. When he arrived and I opened the door I realised Ryan was getting in the front seat.
When I asked him what the hell was he doing, he turned around to me with the most disgusting smile I had ever seen.
‘We are going to your place, right? To finish this date properly’
I didn’t know if I wanted to cry or laugh. However, my patience had already run out, so I told him politely with a lot of curse words to get the hell out of the car.
‘Calm down, sweetheart’ was his answer and I swear to God, I wanted to rip his eyes out. Thank God the driver had enough of it as well, got out of the car and pulled Ryan out. Later I found out from a friend that she had been on a date with him as well and it was even worse than mine.
That being said, I deleted Tinder and never want to use that app again.
