Have you ever had those awkward moments reading the instructions on a packet of tampons and thinking to yourself “how the hell is that going to fit up there?” Well let me tell you why I hate tampons.
I think the first time I bought a box of tampons, I sat there for half an hour on the toilet just preparing myself for this momentous moment. I was finally going to be taking the leap from pads to tampons, the more elegant of the two!
I sat there for a while, reading the instructions, trying to jam this big white pill shaped tampon up there and thinking, how do women do this? It is so uncomfortable to sit there with what can only be described as a wad of paper towels up there.
After a while, I realized I had inserted it wrong (who knew there was another way?!) and I gave up. I believe I sat there for around an hour trying to get into a comfortable position until I realized this wasn’t going to work.
I went back into the bathroom and I swear this was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I tried to get the tampon out and just couldn’t; I started panicking, thinking I’m going to have to go to the emergency room and embarrass myself in front of the doctors. I’m going to get a blood clot and die or live with this thing up there for the rest of my life.
Luckily, I managed to escape from the awful thing and decided I would never use them again. I wanted to use tampons because pads were such a gross inconvenience. But after that experience and the horrendous stories my mother has told me about blood clots, I’d rather not try my luck another time.
So I guess the moral of the story is that some people can wear tampons and feel completely comfortable, while others feel like they’re sitting on a stick. I’m definitely sticking to pads from now on.
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