Hopefully, for those reading, you have never been ghosted. Being ghosted is one of the worst ways to be broken up with. You get no closer, no explanation, and no chance to change the other person’s mind. So, what did you do to be ghosted?
I was trying a new coffee shop in the city, I almost never go to the same place more than a handful of times in order to keep things new. I was daydreaming when someone calling my name snapped me back into reality. It was the guy I ghosted. He greeted me with a warm smile and asked how I was, the basic small talk. Then he asked why he never heard back from me after we went on a dinner date a month ago.
A guy I ran into on the street helped me pick up my things from off the floor, I was late for work and very frazzled. He gave me a warm smile and talked to me as I continued walking and he said all the right things at that time. When he asked me out to dinner that night I said yes, I figured why not?
I met him at a very nice Italian restaurant. The candle lighting and soft piano music made everything feel magical. We had our awkward first date small talk during the appetizers. Then when the main course came he said, “This all looks great, but I’d rather skip right to dessert”. I was both shocked and confused. I asked why we didn’t just go on an ice cream date if he wasn’t hungry. “Not that type of dessert. I want you, my place isn’t too far from here and you’ll love the view we can get from the bedroom”. I said if that was all he wanted he should have told me that beforehand because I would have said no if I knew. “Don’t act like you aren’t flattered”. I just stared at this point. “Look I’ll take you back now, but give it some thought sugar”. Long story short, that is when I decided to ghost him.
How do you tell someone you ghosted them because they are vile and every minute in their presence is nauseating? The best answer is, you don’t. When you meet someone like this (and you will meet someone like this) it is best to not argue. People like that will always be stuck in their ways and there is no point in trying to reason with a wall. That is what it is like trying to reason with someone like that, you are talking to a wall.
I stood up and said to him, “There is no point in telling you why because you would just try to argue it anyways and I don’t have time to explain how to talk to a lady respectfully”. I walked away after that to avoid any verbal attacks or lash out he may have wanted to do. Always prepare for the worse so you will never be disappointed with the outcome.
Pick and choose your battles wisely, some are just not worth your breath talking about. Ghosting is never ok, but sometimes it is necessary. You should ghost people when you have to when it will be the best option for both parties.
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