When we think about the Gilmore Girls, I think it’s safe to say that most people immediately think of Rory and Lorelai. Which is fair, given that the show is primarily about them and how they navigate life with their unique mother/daughter relationship. People are quick to identify with Rory and idolize Lorelai, yet there’s one other Gilmore Girl that, until the recent Netflix sequel, was overlooked. I’m speaking of course, of Emily Gilmore mother of Lorelai and grandmother of Rory. With Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, Emily is finally getting the depth and recognition that her character deserves. And let’s be honest, she was the best part of that entire sequel series.
But that’s not what we’re here to discuss. While these three are the eponymous Gilmore Girls, they are not the only girls of Gilmore Girls. If we open up the discussion and definition of “Gilmore Girl” to include the other prominent female characters of the show then we find that there is more to take inspiration from than just the leading ladies. It makes us ask ourselves the question, what is a Gilmore Girl? And can anyone be a Gilmore Girl?
The simplest and most obvious answer would be a girl of the Gilmore family, i.e. Lorelai, Rory, and Emily. They are the literal Gilmore Girls, raised by high society (however relcutantly) who make their way in the world on their terms even when outside forces dare to intervene. On occasion that even means pitting Gilmore Girl against Gilmore Girl. They’re forces to be reckoned with, more alike than they are dissimilar however much the thought might horrify Lorelai.
Yet they aren’t the only characters that exhibit this trait in the show. Arguably every single female character shows the same behavior, but because the audience is so invested in the literal Gilmore Girls it is easy to brush their ambitions to the side. Lane and Paris, Rory’s best friends, for example are just as determined as Rory in their paths, so much so that one of Paris’ beaus dedicates his book to her “a wise, willful, wonderful woman” in Season 4 episode 19. Lane as well shows her mettle when she finally confronts her mother to live the life she wants rather than continue to hide who she is in exchange for the oppressive safety of her mother’s home. Something that directly parallels Lorelai’s own journey to independence.
Babette and Miss Patty are another pair that live their lives exactly as they want, without regard to what anyone else might say or think. Their banter is one of the highlights of the show, and honestly some of the most inspirational. These are two ladies who have lived and now rest on their laurels, content to reminisce and dole out advice to the younger generations whether it’s asked for or not. If there’s anyone to strive to emulate in contentedness and confidence, it’s Babette and Miss Patty.
From all of this we can say that part of what makes a Gilmore Girl is her resiliency, her strength and determination to do what needs to be done to get what she wants without shame. Yet there is a danger in using this as the absolute answer to our question. After all no one person can be strong all the time and they shouldn’t be, to make ‘strength’ equate into quality is foolish and unrealistic. A strong character isn’t just one who blazes forward, it’s one who also recognizes their short comings, their fears, and goes forth anyway. They show strength in their vulnerability, they allow other to see inside of them and draw from the support offered.
In this, the literal Gilmore Girls struggle. They are each an island unto themselves until things spiral to a point where they have no choice but to be laid bare. Lorelai of the three has the hardest time admitting to struggle, wanting to constantly prove her worth to herself and the world while also being a pillar for Rory. Even Emily is more open to sharing her struggles with others if she believes it’ll serve her purpose. To provide a contrast is Lorelai’s best friend Sookie, who has no problem asking for and accepting help when she needs it (at least outside of the kitchen). Sookie is comfortable and confident in who she is, so that when something rattles her she’s not afraid to be vulnerable in order to return to that state. She confides in Lorelai about her fears of motherhood, and when her fears are assuaged she returns to her normal self. Had she not she would have continued to question and fret in the manner that Lorelai is shown to do for episodes on end until those feelings explode out to a potentially negative effect, as is seen in the whole April/Luke drama.
It’s easy to claim a Gilmore Girl for yourself. They are witty, charismatic women that you can’t help but want to be. Clever Rory, Independent Lorelai, Fierce Emily, they all have something to offer their audience to take for themselves. Bits of them that resonate so genuinely that keep you returning to the show again and again. Yet they are not without their flaws, and their traits are not so unique as to belong only to themselves. The other non-Gilmore Gilmore Girls exhibit many of the same traits and quirks, which is the most important take away from the show. You don’t need the Gilmore surname to be as intelligent as Rory, as free as Lorelai, or as passionate as Emily. Those adjectives can be applied to Lane, Paris, Sookie, Babette, and Miss Patty jut as easily. In some ways they embody the values of the show even better than the Gilmore Girls because those ladies are what they and the audience really aspire to be. Ultimately, they prove to us that anyone can be a Gilmore Girl.
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