How to Tell if You and Your Friend Are Growing Apart
Friends are a part of our lives all throughout our lives. They are there in kindergarten when we make our first friends, throughout grade school when we all go through puberty, in high school when have our first relationships, in college when we experience real freedom for the first time and after college and beyond when we begin our lives, start families, lose loved ones and need them then more than ever. Friends can bring lots of light and happiness, laughs and memories and love in our lives. They can also bring lots of hardship, tears and these relationships can teach us many lessons.
You Do Not Communicate As Much
One of the biggest signs that you and your friend might be growing apart is that the communication between the two of you starts to subside. Maybe you two used to talk every second of the day, share your deepest, darkest secrets, and spill all the tea on your lives and things are just not the same anymore. If you and your friend were never attached at the hip, but occasionally checked in with one another, then there may not be any reason for concern. The key here is to analyze what the relationship was before you noticed a change between you two.
They Make Up Excuses When You Try and Get Together
Another obvious sign that you and your friend may be growing apart is if when you try and reach out to your friend or make plans to meet up, they are always busy or blame them not being able to come on silly excuses. You can tell in your gut if something your friend says sounds suspicious and just by knowing them in the past you have some background on whether or not your friend may be telling the truth. For example, if your “friend” is telling you she has to babysit and you know she has never liked kids or she says she needs to run to the grocery store that day and cannot make it, these are both examples of silly excuses. The truth of the matter is that, just like in any relationship, if the other person wanted to see you, they would do everything they could to make that happen and not give you fishy reasons why they cannot be friends.
You Seem to Know Less About Them Than You Used To
Going along with the lack of communication idea, when you and your friend are beginning to grow apart, you can just feel a different vibe between the two of you or within your friend group. You may start to notice that you do not know much or feel a part of your friend’s life as much as you used to. Your other friends may speak about your friend in a way that is unfamiliar to you, your friend may change their style to something they have never seen before, or they have or speak about interests that you do not remember them being interested in when you first met or at the time the two of you were close.
Your Friend Stops Inviting You to Things
Another obvious sign that you and your friend may be growing apart is that she/he stops inviting you to events that you would normally be invited to. You may also start to see that the other friends in your group begin to distance themselves from you too, possibly from being influenced by the distant friend. The key is to examine not only the relationship you have with the friend you are growing apart with but also the other relationships you share within your friend circle because those may be influenced by that dynamic.
There is Tension Between the Two of You in Person
You may have a somewhat cordial relationship online or through text but in person things just do not feel the same. Maybe the conversation is awkward or you have no idea what to talk about. You may be uninterested in the topics that they talk about and vice versa. The friend you thought you used to know so well seems like an entirely different person and you no longer know how to carry a conversation with this person.
You See Your Friend Hanging Out With a Different Crowd
Another strong indicator that your friend may have changed or is just no longer interested in your friend group anymore is if you see them or hear of them hanging out with another crowd of people than they normally used to. These people may have completely different interests from you or a different vibe than you. This, however, does not mean that there is anything wrong with you. It simply says that your friend may be wanting to explore different sides of their personality.
Getting Together Feels Like a Chore
Lastly, another telling sign that you and your friend may be growing apart is that getting together or making plans feels like a chore or work when before it seemed so effortless; you two were attached at the hip. If you two are friends, you should want to spend time together and if this seems like more of a challenge than it was before, it may be time to take a step back and assess the dynamic of this friendship.
Your friend and you may be experiencing all of these and there could still be promise for a strong relationship in the future or your friend and you may be experiencing none of these and your friendship may be headed for the ground. Not all of these signs will apply to every relationship but a good majority should indicate that something is up. Growing apart from and losing your friends is hard but is ultimately a part of life. Through all of this you will learn who your true friends are, who is supposed to be in your life and who is not. Trust in what happens and never force a relationship. The people that are meant to be in your life will always be by your side.
