How To Save Your Relationship If It’s Been Affected By Distance
I’m not sure how to start this out without being completely honest with anyone reading this. I’ve been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend for a long time, now. Writing this is going to prove rather heart-wrenching for me and may hit close to home for some of you. If this is the case, I’ll give you some ways for you to help save your relationship.
Let’s get started, shall we?
Communication
Relationships are complicated. Nobody goes into or comes out of one assuming they’ll be easy. And every relationship we go into brings entirely new factors into play. After all, even understanding ourselves can be a challenge sometimes.
With so much to consider, how do we help to grease the wheels of our relationship so that it works better overall? A good place to start is with a thorough understanding of the importance of communication.
I know, it sounds completely cliche, but it’s honestly one of the best things to do for any kind of relationship.
People say all the time that communication is vital to any healthy relationship. What they don’t tell you is why. How many things hinge on you and your partner being able to say what you mean to each other. How it affects your mood, your love for each other, and even your day-to-day stress levels.
Effectively communicating within a couple allows both parties to develop their respect for each other. The idea is simple: people are emphatic. They can understand on a very subtle level when something’s wrong.
It’s also a sign of a healthy relationship. When it comes to talking about what’s going on in your life, they understand more by what you don’t say than what you do. When you have something to say, whether it’s good or bad, you need to say it.
Your partner may have insights you aren’t expecting, and going through it together will help to strengthen your bond. More than that, however, it indicates you respect them enough to be mindful of how this might affect them, and you’re honest enough to speak plainly. A lack of communication can have the opposite effect.
As close as we may become with our partners, every relationship is made up of two unique people. And everybody has bad days.
Sometimes we miscommunicate. Other times, we forget to say important things, and the intricate gears of our relationship get gummed up.
Communicating helps to prevent miscommunications and, in turn, helps save your relationship. When we express ourselves to the people we love, fewer things go unsaid. We become more used to explaining concepts and ideas in a way other people understand.
And, overall, the people we love come to expect the truth from us. This is a much healthier kind of relationship, and it takes the pressure off when you aren’t worried about saying the wrong thing.
Establish Trust In One Another
Do you ever get a feeling that something isn’t right in your relationship? You may not know why, but more than likely, it’s because you are lacking trust in your relationship.
The relationship between trust and love is a close one. Trust means trusting yourself, your own judgments, and trusting others. Trust is the foundation for any relationship. Without it, the relationship will be shaky and will eventually fail. Lack of trust is the main reason relationships fall apart.
Why?
Because, if you don’t have trust it means you won’t feel secure that your partner will love you and be loyal to you. After all, trust means you can rely on your partner, can confide in them, and feel safe with them.
When you trust that your partner loves you no matter what, then you have the reassurance the relationship will survive even if you have arguments or fights. You know your relationship is more robust than a disagreement.
When you trust your partner, you know you’re their priority. They have your best interests at heart. When differences or challenges may occur in your relationship, you know that you can overcome the problems together.
Trust is the foundation for your relationship and the key to love. When you trust your partner, then you feel secure that they won’t leave in difficult times. This is the key to love to build and grow.
When you trust your partner, you don’t feel insecure about giving him time or space to do his own thing without you. You’re not suspicious about who he spends time with.
When you have built a stable relationship on trust, you will both be free to be your authentic selves.
But trust must be earned. It takes time. It’s not automatic. And it can’t be demanded. The good news– with effort, trust can be built. Even if there have been issues with trust in your relationship, you can change and build a trusting, secure connection. The first step is recognizing if you have trust issues in your relationship, and then decide to build trust and improve your life relationship.
Put Effort Into Each Other
As much as I wish that every relationship would play out like a fairy tale, the reality is that healthy, happy, long-lasting relationships don’t just happen: it takes a lot of effort — on the part of both partners — to maintain a long-term relationship.
If you’re not putting enough effort into your relationship, it will eventually show: you could feel your connection to your partner starting to fade or notice that you’re fighting more than usual. In order to prevent the relationship from eventually fizzling out, you and your partner should both be committed to actively improving your relationship (even if it’s already a good one), whether that’s by carving out more alone time, taking up a new hobby together, or even experimenting in bed.
When you both are first together, both people are usually putting a lot of time and energy into the relationship. This will slow down over time, but for the relationship to last some amount of energy and attention is still necessary. This will vary from couple to couple; however, nothing thrives on neglect. Spending adequate time together is critical. This isn’t just time in the same space with both of you doing parallel things. It means the time when you are interacting in intimate ways — emotionally, physically, intellectually, etc.
Simply put, you can’t grow as a couple if you aren’t both making an active effort to maintain your romantic connection. It might seem daunting, but putting effort into your relationship isn’t as scary as it sounds: it’s as simple as showing a genuine desire to keep learning about each other and sharing new experiences.
What is the clearest sign that you’re not putting enough effort into your relationship?
Your partner expresses a desire to leave the relationship because they feel lonely, that should be a serious wake-up call that you need to work on rebuilding your connection. When your partner is ready to walk because they feel lonely in the relationship, you know you aren’t putting in the time.
There is nothing worse than feeling lonely in a relationship because you have someone that puts you on a shelf for whatever reason. Maybe they are busy working or maybe they are hanging out too much with their friends, but it isn’t working. Relationships take time and work.
Good things come to those who work for them, and healthy, happy relationships are no exception — if you want to save your relationship to stand the test of time, all it takes is a little effort.
Independence
If you have a significant other, you might see them like your best friend. You tell them all your worries, go to events with them, and spend hours watching Netflix together. But even if both of you hang out all the time, it’s important to be independent in a romantic relationship, too. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be co-dependent. Healthy relationships are about two independent people who decide to share their lives and build a relationship together.
Some couples eat, sleep, breathe, and live together — and that is okay! However, it is important to have individual time and space away from your significant other every now and again. Even if you two have similar hobbies or genuinely enjoy spending as much time as possible with one another, you should never put aside your own identity for anyone.
It’s very important to have independence in a relationship. Successful, healthy relationships allow both people to form a bond that lets them not only grow together but also to grow independently as people. It’s essential to have your own sense of autonomy while feeling you can depend on each other. Also, if you give up your independence and abandon the things that used to make you happy, you might not be able to save your relationship.
But why is it so hard for some couples to be independent in a relationship? For some, it’s because of social anxiety.
A big problem with independence comes from underlying social anxiety. Those with SA struggle and ruminate about what others are thinking and most often infer judgments that are unfair and unlikely about their current self-worth or behavior. Helping to gain self-esteem through experience in social and/or work settings can help.
The diversity of relationships is also key. Some people want to have just one partner in crime. But that can mean a lot of heavy lifting for your significant other. If we have friends, family, and work colleagues with whom we share meaningful experiences we have less chance of needing help to save your relationship.
