How to move on. Toughest question on the planet for a person whose relationship just ended. It becomes especially difficult when that relationship was at the engagement level. Suddenly the person you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with is no longer there. So how do we do it? One step at a time.
This is never fun. You’re used to curling up to a warm body next to you. Listening to someone breathe, or even wrap their legs around yours. Little things you never paid attention to before are suddenly the biggest deal ever. Not having that arm thrown around you, or those cold feet on your back are things that are missed instead of hated.
But look at it this way. No longer are you sharing that bed. You get to roll around, stretch, kick your legs out and throw your arms around to your heart’s content. You don’t have to listen to someone snore or feel their weight when they accidentally roll over on you. No more cold feet on you and no more being disturbed by the middle of the night bathroom trips.
Focus on the good points. Eventually, you’ll realize you enjoy sleeping and waking up alone!
Consistently making enough food for two? It can be a hard habit to break! You’re so used to feeding both of you that the food choices you make sometimes aren’t even your own. You subconsciously choose foods that your former significant other enjoyed. Maybe even ones you don’t care for, but tolerated simply because they liked the meal. (I know that’s something this writer still does!)
This doesn’t have to happen anymore! Every meal choice you make now is going to be one that you are going to enjoy. It’s all going to be foods that you love. And if you do happen to accidentally make more than you can eat, throw it in the fridge and take the leftovers to work the next day. It can save you the expense of buying lunch out! You just saved yourself some money, and that’s how you move on!
All that crashing and banging that used to make you crazy is suddenly the only noise you remember. You’d give anything to hear it again. The deafening silence has you on edge and is making you a bit jumpy. There isn’t someone else there to listen to. Nobody else making a sound
If it’s just the fact that the quiet is too much, turn the tv on, or play the radio. This is your chance to sing and dance like nobody is watching…because nobody is! When you find yourself struggling with the quiet of being alone, turn it into your own personal concert. Music has been proven to improve a person’s mood, so crank the tunes and enjoy yourself! This is just one more way you can cope and start to learn how to move on.
Having to sit through, or even listen to, a show you don’t like can be so irritating. The sounds can get under your skin. Maybe the voice of a character rubs you the wrong way. Or maybe your former significant other was simply half deaf and the TV had to be painfully loud.
All those shows your significant other loved no longer blare through the entire house. No more gunshots ringing in your ears, or women crying because they’re fighting with their friends. You don’t have to play the ‘I’ll watch yours if you watch mine’ games and TV time suddenly is all yours! The remote is still where you left it and doesn’t end up in the fridge, either! The TV stays at the volume you left it at so you’re not blown back in your seat when you turn it on.
You swore the last time you checked your account there was enough money for those groceries, but you’re standing at the register with ten dollars to your name. Ever had that happen? Not only is it embarrassing, but it’s incredibly annoying. When two people share an account, sometimes expenses can be forgotten to be discussed and mistakes happen. It’s not always on purpose, but it happens!
Now, nobody else has access to that account. Every penny you left in it is still there. You don’t have to fill someone else’s gas tank. You don’t have to pay for someone else’s meal every time you go out to eat. Nobody else is accessing the funds for snacks at the gas station or for a night out at the bar. The money you make goes back to being yours. Learning how to move on because so much easier when a shopping spree is involved!
You really don’t want to go to the party that’s tonight. You’re tired from work. Your feet are sore. Or maybe you just don’t want to go. But your former significant other always did. So you went, oftentimes hardly able to enjoy yourself. You want pizza instead of burgers for dinner. You’d rather watch TV then go to the movies.
If you always did what your significant other wanted, it’ll be a nice change of pace to be able to do what you want for a change! Take some time for yourself. Do what you want, eat what you want, be where you want. When it comes to the decisions…you’re in charge.
Moving on isn’t easy. It can downright suck. There will be days when you feel like the only option is to curl up in bed and that’s ok. But don’t do it forever. Learn to love sleeping and waking up alone. Learn to love the quiet, making the decisions and feeding just yourself. Take the time to enjoy spending the money you made all on your own! Use it for a shopping spree and get a new wardrobe! Start over. One foot in front of the other is always the place to start.
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