Going through a breakup is one of the hardest things we have to do in life. They are emotional, painful, and overall just terrible. And breakups are even harder when you don’t end the relationship on good terms. Here are some tips to maturely get over a bad breakup.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being upset because your relationship didn’t work out. It’s okay to cry and eat a whole container of ice cream by yourself (if you don’t make it a habit, of course). Let yourself feel the emotions that come with losing someone you care about, even if they hurt you. You can be angry and hurt, but make sure you’re grieving in a healthy way.
It isn’t going to help anyone if you seek revenge or purposefully hurt your ex because you’re upset. The best thing you can do is feel the natural emotions that come with a breakup and try your best to get back to normal. It doesn’t make you weak to act like a normal human being and be sad that you’re no longer in a relationship.
Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling. Tell them anything that you can’t get out of your head or that has really been bothering you. Holding things in will only make you feel worse and can prolong the healing process. You can’t move on until you accept how you’re feeling and really get it out of your system.
Your friends or family can give you a different perspective on the situation and help you heal in so many ways. You’ll feel so much better once you truly talk about everything that’s going on inside your head, trust me. It can be hard and uncomfortable, but in the long run you’ll be so grateful that you had someone to listen and give you advice.
Do things to keep your mind off of what you’re feeling. Don’t let that breakup hold you hostage in your bed watching hours upon hours of mediocre romance movies. Do something to better yourself and put your time to good use. It’s okay to be sad for a couple of days but you have to get back out there at some point and the sooner the better.
Go to the gym, read a good book, hang out with friends, or treat yourself to some clothes. Do things that make you happy and make you feel good about yourself. Breakups are never as bad as they seem once you look back at them so keep your head up and go buy that new pair of jeans you’ve had your eyes on.
Distance yourself from your ex. This can mean deleting their number, unadding them on snapchat, or even not seeing them in person. This can be extremely difficult, but it will help keep your mind off that person and focus on you and your healing. Talking to the person who hurt you or who you hurt won’t help you directly after a break up.
This distance doesn’t have to last forever and doesn’t mean you’ll never speak again. You need time to accept the breakup and better yourself. I have known a lot of exes who have become friends after a breakup because they gave each other space and eventually moved on.
Forgiveness is key in moving on from a bad breakup. Most of the time, during breakups that end badly, things are said out of anger. Whether it be yourself that you have to forgive or you ex, you don’t want to keep pent up anger inside. Forgiveness is a must and it may take time, but it will be a crucial step in moving on.
This can be one of the hardest parts of moving on. Talking to the person that hurt you or that you hurt is so difficult and emotional. Doing this can also give the person you were with the ability to move on as well. This can be a turning point for you and your ex to be on good terms again. Just because the relationship ended poorly doesn’t mean you have to hate each other for the rest of your lives.
There is no cure for getting over a breakup. Everyone heals differently and processes their emotions at a different rate. You can’t expect to get over someone in 24 hours or even 24 days. It’s hard to hear but it’s the truth.
Coming to terms with your failed relationship will hurt and you’ll be sad or angry, but life goes on and you’ll be happy again. There is nothing better than working on yourself while trying to get over someone. You’ll also learn so much about what you want in a partner and what you don’t want. You’ll realize that everything happens for a reason and that that person may have been put in your life so you could learn something important.
Once you feel confident enough to get back out there, go get ’em! Go out on dates and enjoy the freedom of being single. Test the waters and really get to know what kind of person you’re looking for. You can learn a lot about yourself by dating and talking to different types of people. You may even be surprised by what you find attractive.
Don’t rush it and make sure you aren’t just looking for a rebound because that can get super messy. Be sure that you have moved on enough to be able to be emotionally available to someone who is looking for a relationship, and if you aren’t, that’s fine too. Go out and have some fun but make sure that you and the person you’re talking to are always on the same page with what you’re looking for.
Featured image source: 8-signs-your-friend-needs-help-getting-over-a-breakup-how-to-support-them-17303011
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