While we hope that all our relationships work out perfectly, that is unfortunately not how reality works. Relationships fail for several reasons, and breaking up can be one of the most difficult things anyone can experience. Although you will still need to process the breakup and might be sad for a while, there are ways you can break up and minimize your grief. With that said, here’s how to have a healthy breakup that won’t leave you filled with regret!
While this may be hard to do, your needs come first in whatever relationship you have. Thinking about how you feel in a relationship is the first step to knowing whether or not you and your partner should break up. If for whatever reasons, you’re not happy in the relationship, then you know the relationship might be coming to a close.
After thinking about your own needs, think about how your partner will react to the sad news. This isn’t supposed to change your mind on whether or not you two break up, but to keep you prepared on how to deal with the aftermath. If your partner is emotional, expect a lot of crying for example. Your goal is to make the breakup happen as smoothly as possible (although it is much easier said than done).
Practice what you’ll tell your partner. You can choose to list reasons why you’re not happy in the relationship, but you are by no means obligated to do so. Remember, your needs come first, and you never have to explain why you want to break up.
However, you do need to let them know about the breakup and know exactly what to say, so you don’t stumble on your words or seem unsure of your decision.
From the moment you realize that your relationship won’t work, you need to end it. Dragging a relationship is one of the worst things you can do, as you will just continue to live in misery (and I don’t wish that upon anybody).
Maybe don’t break up with your partner on their birthday (this might be too painful), but doing it the day before/after is a perfectly viable plan.
Try, to the best of your ability (and willingness), to tell your partner how you’re feeling. Like I said before, you don’t have to explain what they are doing wrong in the relationship (as that is not your job), but that you’re unhappy. When this time comes (assuming you have practiced), you’ll know how to lay out your feelings.
Being honest is one of the most important parts of a breakup. If you do choose to tell your partner the reasons why you’re unhappy, try not to paint them in the worst imaginable light. Even if your partner is a complete nightmare, explain that to them, while probably sparing a detail or two.
If you don’t want to explain why you are breaking up, just be honest about it and say that. What you don’t want to do is avoid/ghost your partner because you’re unhappy (as ending a relationship without closure makes you look heartless).
You never want to break up over the phone, or text (unless your relationship is a long-distance one). If breaking up in person is a realistic option, you definitely want to do this. Also, this is not a TV show, so you never want to humiliate your partner and break up in public.
They will resent you more than you would like, and that destroys any possible friendship between the two of you for the rest of your lives.
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