Every long-lasting relationship hits a point where “sparks” and “fireworks” are no longer the words that would describe it. Instead, there is a feeling of peace and comfort. Sometimes when the “spark,” or romance, goes away, it is easy to confuse it for dullness or maybe even wonder if you have fallen out of love. However, love is a verb (thanks, John Mayer) and the commitment that you make to your partner. True love, in my experience, cannot be associated with a feeling because our feelings change all the time! But true love stays (as cheesy as it sounds).
That being said, there is always a way to bring romance back to your relationship. I am a true believer that when two people really love each other, they will do anything in their power to stay together and work things out. If you are feeling stuck, here are a few tips on how you can get your romance back and grow closer to your partner.
Communication is an absolute must for a healthy and successful relationship. It has the power to save you two from an argument and help understand each other better. Sometimes it can be hard to communicate your feelings to your partner because you feel like they should just “get it.” However, they are only human and can’t read your mind just like you can’t read theirs.
Sit down and communicate your feelings and emotions to your partner. Do you feel like something is missing in your relationship? What do you lack from your partner? Healthy communication can fix almost anything. Don’t forget to give your partner some time to talk as well and be a good listener. Also, ask for their feedback. What can you do to make your partner feel more loved? Talking about your needs and wants will make your partner understand exactly what has been bothering you.
There are five general love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Every person feels most loved when their partner does one of those things. For example, if your love language is words of affirmation, that means that you feel most loved when you are told, so; Things such as compliments and verbal reassurance are what make you understand love the most. If your partner’s love language is quality time, that means that they feel most loved by you when you two can spend some quality time together.
Understanding yours and your partner’s love language is crucial because it gives you a better understanding of when you two feel most loved and cared for. Talk to your partner and find out which love language they speak the most. This will give you two a better opportunity to be more intentional with each other when it comes to romance.
If you want to feel all sparkly again, talk to your partner about going on a romantic date once a week, month, or whatever fits your schedule best. With your friends, family, job, or school it can be hard to find that one on one time. Try your best to find the time to date your partner. Whether you hit your favorite restaurant, try a new place, or try something absolutely exotic, it is totally up to you! Talk to your partner and decide what you two enjoy doing together.
First of all, what does the word intimacy mean to you and your partner? Is it when you two are in the bedroom? Or is it when you are opening up to each other? Whatever that is, find the time to be intimate with your partner. Intimacy involves trust and acceptance, so make sure that you and your partner build a healthy, warm atmosphere where you two feel safe to let go of everything and be vulnerable with each other.
Sometimes when problems or misunderstandings start to arise in a relationship, we can be quick to blame them on our partner. Take a step back and try to think of the things that your partner has done for you. Meaningless arguments can often blur our vision and make romance disappear. Recognize that we all make mistakes and unintentionally hurt the ones we love.
Therefore be gentle with each other. Forgive the things that you are secretly still holding onto and choose to look forward to the future with your partner. Gentleness and understanding go a long way!
Don’t forget to flirt with each other? Flirting is going to make your partner feel like they still excite you. Tell your partner how good they look in their new outfit, put your hand on their thigh when they’re driving, kiss them for a little too long in public. It is so crucial that you two make each other feel wanted.
You can also send them a flirty text, letting them know how much you miss them or can’t wait to see them. Truthfully, it is the little things that keep the spark alive.
Speaking of those little things. Though they’re little, they are crucial when it comes to relationships. Complimenting your partner, surprising them with their favorite coffee, or making an effort to help them will make your partner feel cared for. Other sweet little things you can do to make your partner smile: kiss them when they are not expecting it, write a love note, surprise them with their favorite snack. Small gestures can make your relationship grow and bring you two closer.
Relationships take lots of work and patience. After all, we all want to feel loved and essential to someone. Though romance is necessary, sometimes it can get lost in the hectic routine; however, that doesn’t mean that your love is gone. Be gentle and intentional with your partner, and work on getting that spark back. Let your love beat all the odds!
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