How To Get Through An Intense Argument With Your SO

Getting into intense arguments is part of every relationship and is practically inevitable.  Knowing how to get through them can be the difference between breaking up and staying together.  There are a few important steps to getting through an intense argument as to not lose the person you love.  Follow these few ways and you’ll be back to being lovey dovey with each other in no time.

Communication

Being open to having a conversation is the first step in the right direction if you or your significant other are upset about something.  Let your SO know that you are open to talking it out no matter how long it takes.  Don’t just assume that they know you want to talk or that you are available to talk with them.  This really makes a difference and shows them that you care about their feelings or that they care about yours.

Don’t go into the conversation with a bad attitude or acting like you are annoyed.  This can make them feel like you don’t actually care to have a conversation or even that they are upset at all.  They should feel like you are willing to make time and listen to whatever it is that made them want to have a conversation in the first place.  Even after an argument, give yourselves time to calm down then get right into voicing your issues.

Listen

Listening is ultimately what will get you and your significant other through an argument.  Giving them your undivided attention will help avoid anymore miscommunication or help calm the argument down.  You should also demand attention when you are talking and make sure that your SO is hearing what you are saying as well.  

Be respectful to your SO and expect the same treatment when you can voice your opinions and issues.  This is key when getting through an argument that goes too far and gets too intense.  Listening needs to be part of your relationship daily or things will start to fall apart.  Respect what each other are saying and give them the time they deserve when they tell you what is causing the argument.

Be Honest

Don’t be afraid to be honest and really tell your SO how you are feeling, even if it could hurt them.  Honestly, like listening, needs to play a part in every single relationship for it to work and stay healthy. Not being truthful can make the argument become more intense and your issues may just go unsolved. It is SO important to be true to what you feel and express that in the most honest way possible.

Make sure that your partner knows that they can also be honest.  Intense arguments often stem from bottled up emotions and issues that have gone unsolved.  Those issues can be solved by being honest and getting to the bottom of why they exist in the first place.

Stay Calm

Staying calm during an intense argument can be the most difficult part.  Emotions are high and it’s hard to keep your yourself from raising your voice or saying things you don’t necessarily mean.  Taking deep breaths and attempting to calm down your partner is really the best thing you can do in a situation like this.  You can try to focus on calming down your significant other if they are really upset or even angry.

Getting heated during arguments is very common, but that doesn’t mean that the entire argument needs to stay intense.  You can really turn an argument around by staying calm, listening to your partner, and being honest about how you’re feeling.  

Voice Your Opinions

Don’t be afraid to have a voice when it comes to talking about your relationship and how it makes you feel.  I feel like sometimes I’m afraid to tell my boyfriend how I feel about something because it might hurt his feelings, but the best thing to do is to be honest while having arguments.  If you know that what you want to say will ultimately help your relationship, you should voice it and not be scared of how your partner will react.  You really should never be afraid of how your significant other will react to your feelings.

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It’s better to get these opinions off your chest rather than holding them in any longer.  This can create more issues in the future and lead to more intense arguments.  Wait for your partner to calm down before saying something that may upset them even more so they have time to process what you are saying.  Give them the opportunity to put aside their anger and listen to what you have to say about the relationship.  This way they can react the way they truly want, not the way their heightened emotions make them.

Come Up With A Solution

Really sit down and talk it out with your SO.  Give them the opportunity to voice how they want the conversation to go and you can voice your solutions.  Come up with multiple ways to fix the issues that caused the argument in the first place and go from there.  Coming to an agreement is  huge part of getting through an intense argument and prevent it from happening again.

Be truthful about what you want to happen or what you want your significant other to do.  Be open to things that you may not necessarily be used to doing to make your partner happy or comfortable.  It takes two people to make decisions in the relationship and it’s necessary to come up with a solution that you are both okay with.  Try not to think selfishly when coming to a compromise or agreement and listen to your partners needs as well.  Big or small, the solution can ultimately save or end your relationship, depending on what you or your partner is willing to do.

Will you be using these tips the next time you get into intense arguments with your significant other?  Let us know in the comments below!

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