Before we get into anything, one thing to note is that if he isn’t working to spend time with you (his priority), it is time to dump his butt for someone who deserves your love, affection, and attention. Honey, you are a ten and you need to know it before letting any man into your life. Lizzo was right, why are men great until it’s time to be great? Do they think that once they have us there’s no effort in keeping us? As equally as it is important for men and women to spend time with friends, it’s mandatory for them to spend time together. Now, if there’s a big game going on, you do have to understand that the game for him is like a new episode of The Bachelor/The Bachelorette. How would you feel if you have to wait until everyone has already seen the biggest parts and it’s just floating around on social media before you’ve seen it all because he wanted to hang out with you? Not good, eh? If it’s a big game, it’s okay to let him enjoy that and let him know that he owes you.
But it’s a big red flag if your boyfriend chooses his friends over you. You both transitioned from the friend stage to the relationship stage, which deems you a little more important than the friends. I’m not saying he should drop his friends but he should’ve known what he was getting himself into when he agreed to start a relationship with you. You’re the girlfriend, you deserve a lot more of his attention than those friends, and here are some ways to get it.
Most boyfriends are hesitant when it comes to skipping out on hanging out with the boys to go on a date with their girlfriends because, a lot of the time, the guy doesn’t get to do the things he likes to do. So, he feels in order for him to do what he wants he has to hang out with his friends who understand him. However, if the two of you agree on something you both want to do, then there won’t be any problems. Sit down and list both of your interests and find activities that circle around those interests. Not only will he spend time with you but he will actually enjoy it and not feel pressured because you both are doing something you love with the person you love.
Ask him if he can hold his plans for the day after and spend time with you at that moment. This doesn’t necessarily mean he is ditching his friends but he is postponing his play date with them. Let him know that you’re not asking him to cancel his day with his friends, but you’re asking if you can postpone it because you really miss him. Although he will be disappointed because he has to postpone the playdate, he will be relieved that you are okay with him going out with his friends but on a later date.
Now, to make this work you need to turn on the charm. And what I mean by that is to put on a sexy pout but look at him with lust in your eyes like you’re undressing him. Next, touch him in all the places you know he likes to be touched but lightly. Make him blush and smile in a geeky way. He will eventually give in, call his buddies to postpone, and spend time with you. He will have dirty thoughts about you but he is your boyfriend, which means he may think it all the time. Believe me, I hate that women are being objectified but it wouldn’t hurt to use what your mom gave you to get the man you love to spend time with you.
Let him know that you feel as though he chooses his friends over you. It doesn’t hurt to be straight forward. Pay attention to his reaction! If he looks surprised then you know he hasn’t been as attentive as he should be. If he gets defensive, then you know it’s time to dump him because he is supposed to be understanding instead of defensive. If he looks apologetic, then you know he is sincere and will do nothing but try to make you happy. That’s the man you need! Once you tell him how you feel, tell him that you don’t mind him spending time with his friends occasionally (which he should be allowed to) but you want him to spend time with you more than he usually would with his friends. After all, you are his lover not them.
Remember when your mom took you to her job because you were too sick to go to school? But it was so boring just to sit in the office to do nothing. But when she brought you your favorite food to cheer you up, it was all worth it. Men are the exact same way! You want them to ENJOY spending time with you and watching The Notebook or Mean Girls is not the way to go for a lot of guys. If you both can’t decide on an activity that both of you would like, it’s time for bribery. Bribe him with his favorite snack or favorite movie because the point is for you to be right there next to him instead of his friends.
Guys love to know how much of an effect they have on their lovers, especially when it’s naughty. So, when he’s getting ready to go out with the guys you can put that robe on with a surprise for him underneath. Inform him of how “hot and bothered” you’re feeling and slowly take off the robe revealing sexy lingerie or nothing. Give him the option of “postponing” his playdate and playing with his sexy girlfriend. Or go out with the guys and come back to a girlfriend who isn’t feeling so hot anymore.
Like they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Not saying that his friends are your enemies but if they’ve been spending a lot of time with your man, it wouldn’t hurt to friend them since they are in your boyfriend’s life. Among the group of friends, there are a couple of them who may be single, which is the perfect opportunity to play matchmaker. Match your friends with some of his single friends to get them to focus on their developing relationship and you can have your way with your guy.
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