Learning how to enjoy time alone can, honestly, be really hard. Breakups are painful, no matter who you are and no matter what the situation is. You can be left heartbroken and utterly dismayed, trying to figure out what happened without many answers. If you’re lucky you’re able to see that it was all for the best and get excited about moving on. Either way, your life is suddenly a lot different.
There isn’t a significant other around to always talk to or do things with. Even with a great group of supportive friends, you’ll find a lot more of your time passes alone than it used to. It’s hard, but it doesn’t have to be bad. Being alone with yourself can be a wonderful, peaceful, and enlightening experience. You just have to learn how to enjoy it.
Everyone has something they love to do or that particularly relaxes them. Learning how to enjoy time alone can help you discover activities that you love to do, or pick up old passions. Maybe spending so much time with your SO made you miss out on playing the guitar or taking a day to paint.
Now is the time to reconnect with your hobbies and what you really love doing on your own. If you’ve lost interest in what you used to do, look for new activities to get involved in. Free time is yours for the taking. Experiment with different hobbies and find something you really enjoy doing to occupy your time. An entertaining activity can help pull you out of the sadness and show you how nice it is to just be with yourself.
To-do lists are a great way to keep yourself on track. With a heavy heart and no one to occupy your time, it can be easy to waste a day away on the couch, and that’s fine sometimes. You have to give yourself a break. But other times it can feel great to have an active, productive day.
Making a list of all you want to get done on in a certain time period gives you something to schedule yourself by and report back to. It’s also super satisfying to continuously check things off your list. Going by a to-do list will make you feel successful and happy with how you spend your free time.
Give yourself some things to look forward to by planning trips. They don’t have to be huge excursions, but go visit another friend in a different state or plan a vacation with your buds at the beach. You can even take yourself to another city for a whole weekend of solo exploration. We all have trips we talk about someday taking. Now that you only have to worry about yourself, you’re on your own clock.
It’s the perfect time to take advantage of your schedule and see those trips through. That way you’ll have things to get excited about and worthwhile ways to occupy your time. Learning how to travel alone and rely on yourself, teaches you how to enjoy time alone and truly get to know yourself. Take some time to be alone, it isn’t selfish- it’s healthy!
Want to get in shape? Learn to cook? Run a half marathon? Time with yourself is a great vehicle for self-improvement. Of course, you’re already great. This is just about the realization of personal successes you’ve always dreamed about–things that will make you feel good about how you’re spending your time and moving on from that pesky break up. You could read 20 books in the next few months.
You could build a piece of furniture. You are a strong, independent person, and with that you have no limitations. Set personal goals you can work to accomplish during your free time and remember just how great and successful you can be on your own.
I fully swear by all of these suggestions for learning how to enjoy time alone after a breakup, but unfortunately sometimes nothing is going to work. You’re going to get up and get ready for the day and find nothing can take your mind off being sad or being alone. It’s important that in these moments you don’t push those feelings away or get too down on yourself.
Letting yourself feel sad is an important and necessary part of the healing process. Yeah, it sucks, but it’s gotta happen, and no trip to Florida or lunch with your friends is going to make those feelings just disappear. Look for ways to feel better, but when the sad feelings really hit, know that’s okay too.
So do what you can and do what makes you feel better in healthy ways. Take small steps toward enjoying time with only yourself and loving who you are alone. We look for relationships with people who are fun, interesting, and nice to spend time with, but often you can find that all in yourself too. Learn how to enjoy time alone again.
Use this opportunity to reconnect with yourself and remember how much you like yourself as a person, regardless of who else is around. Someday later someone else will be able to recognize that too, but until then you can be amazing on your own.
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