How To Deal With Bae When They’re Clingy AF

Clingy behavior is not an attribute that anybody desires when they look for a partner in life. Exhibiting clingy behavior can be shown from any gender and in any relationship. At times the behavior may just be misinterpreted, while other times the behavior can lead to lesser desired outcomes. Knowing some options when dealing with a clingy person can help you decide on how to approach the situation.

Take A Step Back

The first action you should take when it comes to seeing your partner as “clingy” is to evaluate the relationship. Many times looking from the outside can give you a fresh perspective. In any relationship understanding the other person’s actions and feelings may help deescalate any negative feelings, you may be feeling. First, you need to decide what actions you feel make them seem clingy, and if this is new behavior or if this has been your relationship from the beginning. A new relationship may come off clingy because your in what is called the “honeymoon stage” and some want to spend a lot of their time with their new partner, while others simply don’t. Whereas if the relationship has been steady then the steps you take may differ from those in a fresh relationship. If this is new behavior maybe it is because you have been distant and distracted. Life can put a damper on many relationships because let’s face it, life is stressful and full of distractions. If the clingy behavior has been apart of your relationship from the start then you need to evaluate at which point it had become bothersome to you and why it has come to the point that it now bothers you. The second step to a clingy relationship is to decide if this is something you are willing to work on, or if the relationship has reached its end. From here, the third step is coming up with an action plan to help reach the goal that you have set.

Decide What You Need

At this point, you have decided that the clingy behavior needs to change, but now is the time to figure out which route is best to take. Deciding to end the relationship may pose a better outcome if you no longer hold the same feelings for the person, or if you feel that the relationship is unhealthy. If the clingy behavior borderlines stalking or abusive please leave. Abusive relationships are harder to leave the longer you are in them and can escalate quickly. The potential damage to your mental and emotional health and possibly physical are very hard to heal from. If your not sure if your relationship borderlines abuse there are plenty of resources available to help you work it out, including articles from the Nation Domestic Abuse Hotline. Ending a relationship is always hard, but depending on the reasons as to why your action plan may be different. In contrast, if you still feel emotionally bonded to this person then your next step is to express yourself.

Express Your Feelings

In any relationship, your feelings should be a high priority to the other person, and the same should go for you as well. Begin a conversation with the person and be open and honest. Express yourself freely and explain how you feel about their clingy behavior. Give them examples so they can understand why you feel that they are clingy. If you have decided to end the relationship, you still must express yourself and providing them feedback a to why may help them. No matter which way the relationship is going the person may be upset, but never back down because your feelings are valid and important. Let me also note that if you feel that your relationship is unhealthy it is okay not to have any discussions with the person, and if you feel they are a danger then take measures to protect yourself from any harm. 

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Have An Open Conversation

At this point, we are going to assume that you have decided to continue with the relationship, or at least decided to express your feelings about their clingy behavior. Part of expressing yourself is also listening to their part. This conversation needs to stay calm with an ending result being a plan to rectify the behavior. If at any time the discussion becomes upsetting it is best to try to deescalate or plan to have the conversation at another time when you both have had time to consider the other person’s feelings. It is never a good idea to hold meaningful conversations when one or both are upset because this can hinder the outcome and hurt your relationship. After having an open conversation there is a possibility that the behavior had just been misunderstood therefore no other steps would be needed. By chance that the clingy behavior was not a misunderstanding then at this point, an action plan needs to put into place. This action plan should outline what you feel is appropriate for your relationship, and what will not be tolerated anymore. In the end, both should have clear expectations of the other and be able to move forward happily. 

Know When To Leave

The most important aspect of any relationship is knowing when to leave. As stated before if there is any indication of abuse in any form I will plead with you again to please leave the situation. I personally have been there and nearly lost my life for it. Relationships are not always easily maintained, they do take a lot of work but it should never be one-sided or causing pain. If at any point you do not feel that the relationship or the clingy behavior will be fixed, then it may be time to end the relationship now before too much time has passed. Leaving should not be the first answer in most circumstances, but your overall mental state and happiness should be your main priority. This is not being selfish, this is key to you living your best life happily. You should never feel that you settled for less than you deserve out of fear or guilt. 

Do you have advice or have experienced clingy behavior from someone? We’d love to hear your stories and how you managed the relationship in the comments below.

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