A whole lot of being “charming” includes being courteous and respectful to people. The other part is being authentically and unabashedly yourself. Going above and beyond to show people that you care about them is a wonderful thing to do. This helps strengthen relationships and communicate better with the people in your life. Charm is not about manipulating people into doing your will, but making the people you love happy and appreciated. It can help make you more outgoing, and with enough practice, unafraid of striking up a conversation with strangers. You never know the good that can come from starting a great conversation! Working on your charm is important because everyone should know how to be a good conversationalist. You use your charm when you go on job interviews, dates, or make new friends, and it’s a very useful thing to have.
Everyone has a different love language. Getting to understand your own and the love languages of other people around you will help you connect to them more. That way, you can spend meaningful time with them, or say words of affirmation. Every person and every relationship is different and must be cared for. The love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Understanding how people love is crucial in understanding how to reach out to them, and help them in a meaningful way. To be charming is to understand this, and try your best to foster a deeper relationship with your loved ones. Understanding the different love languages is a great way to start.
Always, always, always, write thank you notes. It’s the little things that make peoples’ day. If someone gives you a present or invites you somewhere, you should thank them. For more formal occasions, write a card and send it in the mail. People will be flattered that you took the time to write to them, and everyone loves getting a letter in the mail! It might seem old-fashioned, but it shows people that you care. If someone invites you to spend time together and get coffee, it’s always a good idea to send them a text after you’ve finished hanging out. You can send them a message along the lines of: “Hey (friend’s name)! I had such a great time getting to see you and do (activity) today. I’m so happy we met up, I really missed you. Let’s get together soon!” Mail your friends a postcard when you travel, and tell them you’ve been thinking of them. Sometimes, writing a little note makes all the difference!
Here are some things to incorporate into your day that I call “little etiquette.” These are typically small actions that make you appear more charming to people around you. If you have the chance, hold open doors for people. When having a conversation, make sure to put your phone down and make eye contact with whoever you are talking to. Give up your seat on the bus to someone who really needs it. Even smiling at strangers passing by can help brighten someone’s day. This shows that you are a courteous person, and care about those around you. Doing acts of kindness, no matter how small, helps you build charm and confidence.
Charm comes with being unafraid to be yourself. And being yourself can be terrifying, especially if you aren’t happy with who you are. Once you love yourself, it will be easier to love others. Start by forgiving yourself for whatever horrible thing you’ve been carrying around with you. Then start dressing like you mean it. Wear whatever you want, whenever you want. You also have to be okay with being alone, and not be ashamed of it. Once your confidence builds, it will be much easier to be charismatic and charming. Another thing that helps is “faking it ’till you make it.” I think there is a lot of truth in that phrase. If you practice the life you want to live and practice the person you want to become, one day it will all be real. One more thing: you’ve got to stop worrying about what other people think about you, and that’s it. Confidence doesn’t happen overnight, but it is possible to achieve. It’s much better to be yourself than to pretend to be someone you’re not. People are able to tell when you are being authentic, and when you are being fake. Always strive to be the most authentic version of yourself, and the right people will appreciate it.
I am a firm believer that the quickest way to a person’s heart is through the stomach. Everyone should find a recipe that they love, and practice making it. Over time, you will get really good at cooking, and be able to whip something up that will really blow people away. “What does this have to do with charm?” I hear you ask. Once you’ve mastered this recipe, you can use it to make dinner for your friends and family. Not only does it give them a night off from cooking, but you will be able to enjoy a special meal together. Honing in on your skills can help build confidence in yourself as well.
There are always opportunities to practice and hone your conversation skills. We already talk to many people in one day, and you can start at any time to apply these tips to your conversations. You can give strangers kind compliments, or make small talk with cashiers. Smile at the babies in the grocery store and try to make them laugh.
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