“Self-esteem is made up of two things: feeling lovable and feeling capable.” In today’s world, we often forget the American author and motivational speaker, Jack Canfield’s, words. Many people forget that self-esteem is not built solely on one thing, but two. Like evil and good, you cannot have self-esteem without feeling loved and capable. Having self-confidence is a constant battle everyone faces. Whether it is in their profession, appearance, lifestyle, beliefs, or capabilities. However, it is never too late to build higher self-esteem. Here is a list of some remedies that can help you embrace the confidence hidden inside you.
Learning how to accept compliments is difficult, especially when you’re so used to tossing them aside when they’re given to you. Teaching yourself how to welcome compliments is a simple training process of the mind. When someone gives you a compliment, respond with a “thank you.” Going through the motions of responding in that way has helped me to accept and compliments whenever they are given to me. Whether it’s because of an outfit I wore, an article I submitted, a meal I cooked or helping a friend in need. Accept compliments like you would accept a bouquet of flowers.
Relationships play a key role in developing self-esteem. Friends and family can both have a harmful or healthy effect on your self-esteem. Your relationships are like a five-story-building in a tsunami. They will either hold you up when the waves crash down, or they will crumble beneath your feet. Causing you to fall into the coming flood. Whether it is the advice they give, the words they say, the way they touch you, or the way they behave. It is important to consider if their influence is obstructing or supporting your self-esteem. If they are negatively affecting your self-esteem, then remove them from your life. It may seem harsh, but that’s when you must prioritize yourself over them. No relationship is worth having low self-esteem.
Ancient Chinese philosopher and writer, Lao Tzu, once said: “Care about what others think and you will always be their prisoner.” Though the wise man lived 1,400+ years ago, his words still resonate with the concept of society and being a prisoner to it. When it comes to your profession and career, it is important to listen to what others have to say about your work ethic. However, when it comes to your appearance, ideas, beliefs, likes, and dislikes, don’t listen to anyone. If you begin to care about what others have to say about you, as a person, then you’re bound to be anything but yourself.
Listening to positive music can influence your mind and boost your self-confidence. According to Robert Williams, a writer for Thrive Global, self-belief has been directly connected to self-esteem and music has a direct effect on our self-esteem. To better prove this theory, a study demonstrated that after hearing a brief piece of music, the people’s expression and moods began to reflect and match the music they just listened to. If you were to listen to a love song, you would soon be in a romantic mood. If you listened to an upbeat and motivational song, your self-confidence would boost. So, create a motivational playlist. Some songs to include on your playlist could be Can’t Hold Us by Macklemore, Confident by Demi Lovato, I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty, Unstoppable by Sia, Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen, Born This Way by Lady Gaga, Knockout by Bon Jovi, Salute by Little Mix, Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey, Love Myself by Hailey Steinfeld, and Not Afraid by Eminem.
Everyone has a talent or skill. Whether you know it or not. Some people claim that they have neither skill or talent. That is hardly ever true. A skill could be something as simple as typing 95 words per minute or memorizing a speech after reading or hearing it once. An ability or talent could be being able to design and create an eye-catching website for a company, or being able to sketch someone, free handed, perfectly. Whatever your skill or ability is, recognize it for what it is. Better yet, sharpen it.
Believing in yourself is essential to building high self-esteem. It is more than declaring “I can,” or “I will.” It is acting on your words. If you say you can write the greatest story of all time, then write the greatest love story of all time. If you say you will build the tallest skyscraper in the world, then build the tallest skyscraper in the world. This not only demonstrates your determination, but it shows how much faith you have in yourself. As Theodore Roosevelt once said: “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”
How we talk to others can be a big influence on their self-esteem. This includes how we talk to ourselves. Author, professor, and podcast host, Brene Brown, said it best. “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” Whether you didn’t get a good score on a test, or your boss condemned you at work for not completing a project to his satisfaction. Be kind to yourself. Know that you tried your best. Instead of belittling yourself after seeing your test score, decide to study harder for the next one. Rather than letting your boss’s words get to you, realize that you tried your best, and the next time you’re given a project to complete, give it your all.
Defining your values, and what they are, helps build confidence and high self-esteem. Once you set your mind on what your values are, reflect on your life. Examine if your lifestyle matches your values. The more you understand what you signify, the more confident you will become.
After assessing everything and taking time to reflect, affirm your new-found worth. Declaring your worth not only helps others understand your value, but it helps you conclude that you are worth more than you thought you were before. Know your worth. Show it when you’re walking the street, at your workplace, out with friends, at home, or by yourself. Carry confidence with you everywhere you go.
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