There’s no instruction manual on how to break up with your significant other. Everyone’s situation is different. If you and your significant other are considering how to break up before college, here is my story and my advice to you.
My boyfriend and I are inseparable. We’re always together, and when we’re not together, we’re texting, and when it’s time for bed, we’re falling asleep on the phone. He lives 10 minutes down the road and we went to the same high school, we even took some of the same classes. Not only are we, inseparable, we’re happy. He is my best friend, he knows me better than anyone else and has seen parts of me that no one else has seen. Naked, crying, naked and crying, at 4 a.m., at 4 p.m., happy, devastated, drunk, ridiculously angry, ridiculously in love, singing in the car, in the middle of a panic attack. You name it, he’s seen it, and loved me through it.
Last week, we broke up. Not because he cheated on me, or I fell out of love. Not because of a fight, or objections from our parents. Simply because we’re going to college, and it just sort of made sense.
Of course we could stay together. Everyone always says, if you love someone, you fight for them. But they also say, if you love someone, let them go. So which do you choose?
Say you decide to stay together, and then realize it’s just not what you want. You can choose to end it later on. Or maybe you decide to break up and experience college single, and then you realize it’s not for you. You can always try to get back together. Although a break up is a big decision, it’s a rather flexible one, especially when the relationship ends on good terms. Find comfort in that.
There is no perfect way that tells you how to break up, but if you’re certain in your decision that this is what you want, take timing into account. I wanted to break up with my boyfriend pretty much immediately, which sounds bad, but I have a good reason. The transition to college is going to be a hard one. I’m going to be living on my own, in upstate New York, without my mom, or my cat, attempting to navigate a school of 17,000 kids. Adding a fresh heartbreak into that mix sounds like a recipe for disaster. I couldn’t be devastated as soon as I got to college. I wanted to break up early in the summer, and be sad about it now, instead of sad about it on move-in day because my roommate doesn’t deserve that. My boyfriend felt differently, he wanted to wait till we left for college so we could still spend the summer together. That makes sense too. Make the most of it while you can.
Breakups are hard, and there’s very little room for exceptions in that statement. It’s okay to cry, and eat ice-cream, and cry more. You have to remember, the pain is temporary. It lessens over time. It may hurt for awhile, but it won’t hurt forever.
If you want to break up, but you don’t know how to break up or and your significant others simply doesn’t want to, don’t stay together for their sake. Do what is going to make you the happiest, and healthiest. It’s hard, but you’ve got to put yourself first. This advice goes for everything in general. Take care of yourself.
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