How I Accepted My Fear of Commitment
Growing up we all had this perfect image in our mind of true love. One day, our prince would whisk us off into the sunset—thanks Disney. As we get older, we realize that not everyone is who they seem, your very own prince charming may actually be the bad guy in disguise. Once you’ve been burned, it’s easy to start viewing true love as a hoax.
Being the single girl has its ups and downs. Yes, I’m free to spend as many hours as I want lying in bed watching Netflix and eating Ben and Jerry’s out of the tub. At the same time, I look at my friends who are in relationships posting cute “couple pics” all over Instagram and envy them. Yes, I have met many nice, amazing guys over the past two years—who I’m sure would have made great partners—but these relationships have all ended the same way. I placed them into that dark, terrifying place known as “The Friend Zone.”
I couldn’t figure out why I kept doing this to myself. Once a guy became even remotely interested in me, I would just push him away. Confused, I did some googling. I came to the conclusion that I have Gamophobia. Now anytime someone hears the word “phobia” they think of terrifying things like snakes, public speaking, and heights. This term typically has negative attributes to it, but I’m here to tell you that gamophobia is anything but negative, and something that many of you may relate too.
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Gamophobia is the fear of commitment. If you ask me, my interpretation of fear of commitment is just that one is enjoying the single life and they don’t want anyone to put a halt to it. College is the perfect time for this to come into your life, you’re at the point in your life when you are trying to figure out what you want and who you ultimately want to be. Whether you go to a campus with over 50,000 or under 5,000 students, you are constantly surrounded my people and new faces. You are not the same person entering college at 18, as you are when you graduate at 22. What if the person you choose to settle down with wants to stay in that party phase forever but you’re ready to move on and get a steady career?
There are so many possibilities of what could happen. If you end up wasting all four years of college on this guy, only to break up with him right after graduation, think of how much fun you might have missed out on. Maybe it was the time you wanted to go clubbing with your girls and he wanted you to stay in, or the time you failed your chemistry exam because of staying up the night before fighting with your significant other.
With so many divorces and instances of cheating in this messed up world, why would anyone even want to take a shot at love? From Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, to just recently Kourtney and Scott, some of Hollywood’s perfect couples are breaking it off and crushing all of our hearts who had hopes of one day finding that special something they had. There is also the chance of being left at the alter like Carrie Bradshaw. Another perk of staying out of a relationship is not having to deal with all the stress that dating comes with. I know between school, work, and my social life that is enough to make anyone want to have an anxiety attack. Pile a relationship on top of all that and I wouldn’t be able to handle it.
So guess what, you’re only this young once—you need to enjoy every minute of it. If you find yourself not being able to commit to anything longer than the time it takes for the new issue of Vogue to come out, then embrace it. You are who you are for a reason and if you don’t want to change your ways, no one is making you rush into settling down. You have the rest of your life to find your happy ending. College is really more about finding your bridesmaids than your husband anyways. So for now laugh it up, drink it down, and start living your life for the one person that matters the most…YOU!
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