10 Hookup Tips You Should Have Been Taught Before College
In life, you have to learn that everything can’t be taught or the pursuit of knowledge would be fruitless and boring. The best study to explore as a college student is your romantic interests. To better put it, “getting laid.” Your parents can give you the talk, and your friends can tell you their stories, but the best way to learn is to try. However, “hooking up” is not a game every amateur can play without the potential of putting their life on halt for a new life. We’re here to put you up on the game before you step out and start trying some American Pie type stuff. Here’s 10 hookup tips you should have been taught before college.
Strap in kids, this is rated G (for grow a pair).
1. Do not carry condoms in your wallet!
I know it’s tradition for guys who are and are not getting any action to keep the stallion wrap in their wallet, but don’t do that. Heat and friction ruins the condom so by the time you use it the chances of it breaking during your big moment are higher. There are wallets with special pockets just for carrying protection and they are awesome. Of all the hookup tips, this one is key.
2. Do not hook up with your R.A.
R.A’s are students themselves with just a few more keys than you. Some of them will use that to get to people they want to get with. As tempting as it may be to hook up with someone and get out of a few inspection violations, it’s just not worth it. Trust me, it’s a slippery slope that will leave you on your face.
3. Wear a condom. Every single time.
Kanye said it best. 18 years. Don’t let a simple precaution avoided land you in unplanned parenthood. Kids are awesome and twice as awesome when you see them coming. The “I’m late” text coming from either side can send you both into the abyss of anxiety. The main hookup tips here are: be smart and don’t be an idiot.
4. Don’t hook up all the time.
Sex is sacred, treat it that way. If you know you are outta control then get help before you do something you regret.
5. Never be afraid to masturbate.
It’s how you even got interested in hooking up in the first place. Let the gateway that entered you into adulthood be your guide. Your good hand and your favorite website. Self love saves lives, no matter what others say. Cleaning your own gutters can help you out. It’s your body, take care of it.
6. Avoid hooking up at wild parties.
Alcohol, drugs, and sex all in the same place will never lead to a safe trip home. Only a lot of regret and hangovers. As much as you wanna get it on at a wild party, it’s best not to because you’re either not prepared or under the influence. This will get you caught in the heat of the moment which could lead back to “hookup tips:” three.
7. You can’t hook up with anyone if you’re dating someone.
Cheating isn’t cool. Enough said.
8. Be careful with social media hookups.
Tinder and other apps can be the ultimate evil if you don’t use them carefully. They may help you get a fling or two but remember, other people have feelings too. Word gets around you are hooking up with randoms and your name can get driven through the ringer.
9. Leave a hookup a hookup.
I know it sounds messed up but just because you slept together does not mean that you are meant to be together. One night stands happen and sometimes they’re best to leave at that. People change character after committing coitus (say that 5 times fast) for the better or the worst. If you’re not that big on taking chances, then leave it in the bedroom. They will have to understand.
10. If it’s time, then step up.
In the case that you did not protect yourself while doing the deed or fail to get a Plan B, you may find that you’re on the path to an unexpected parenthood. If you are, it will be time to shift into a whole new mindset. Pregnancy can be a stressful experience if you do not know what to do about it. Your parents will find out so there is no hiding it, and of course your families and friends will have your support. Communication is key to making decisions moving forward.
