Hooking Up: What Not To Do
College is full of late teens and early 20’s students, who let’s be honest, are all trying to live it up and not f*uck up to the best of their ability. Our hormones are raging and sometimes you just gotta let loose with the several stresses college creates. One night you’re at a party and you see this hottie; you can imagine how the night ends. You get with them again another night; and again. Suddenly, you realize you’ve seen more of him or her with their clothes off then on. You stop for a second and ask yourself, “what are we exactly doing?” and “am I really happy?” If you’re asking yourself these questions, continue reading this article. Hooking up in college can be a fun, liberating experience but can also be disastrous. Here are some tips of what NOT to do when hooking up with someone in college:
Catch feels.
Some of us are “catch feels” type of people; on the other hand, some of us can lock feelings down. If you’re the type of person who doesn’t catch feelings easily, kudos to you. For many of us, this isn’t the case. I understand “don’t catch feels” is easier said then done, but this is SO crucial to not getting your precious fragile heart broken. Catching feels ruins nearly everything. There is no chance the whole “we can be friends even though it didn’t work out” idea will follow through. If you find yourself catching feels, stop and save yourself before you set yourself up for disaster; meaning laying in bed listening to depressing heartbreak songs and crying yourself to sleep for the next 6 months.
If you really think your partner is beginning to feel the same way, talk about where you guys are. Talk about expectations and intentions. Don’t have this conversation the first night you guys meet. Wait a little bit; it could be a couple weeks, a month or two, but don’t jump the gun. This will probably scare your partner away. Sadly chances are they’re just going to tell you what you want to hear. Ask for honesty. Honest communication is key, people.
If he tells you “let’s just see how things go” and never makes an effort to spend time with you outside of your dorm room, drop him right away; that’s a red flag. He is clearly using you solely for hooking up. Keep in mind timing; try getting your heart broken near finals and talk to me about how your GPA turned out. Ouch.
Use alcohol as a confidence booster.
Don’t think in order to have a confident, fun, sexy hook-up you need to have alcohol or other drugs inside of you. I find hooking up sober is way more enjoyable, as well as memorable. Hooking up while under the influence may also lead to some regretful actions.
Set expectations.
Remember: this is college, many don’t want to be tied down and most people are just looking for a good time. You have to come to terms with what you want and look for people who are looking for the same thing. Don’t set expectations with some random person you’ve been hooking up with and grow a romantic interest for him because chances are his expectations are different then yours, believe me.
Succumb to pressure.
Do not make your partner force you into anything you’re not comfortable with. Don’t forget consent is sexy and ALWAYS reqired. Check in with each other and ask if something is pleasurable or not.
Worry about being awkward.
Hook-ups at times can get awkward, especially in the beginning when you’re getting to know each other and see what each other like, but hook-ups are bound to have those awkward moments, so just embrace the awkwardness and laugh it off! Hooking up should not be pressured and forced, but something fun and relieving. So sexy on and enjoy yourself.
Think you don’t have to use protection.
Use protection, people. Whether it’s a contraceptive pill or condoms, etc., something must be used EVERY time. No questions asked. No exceptions. End of discussion.
Be clingy.
So you’ve hooked up with someone once or a couple times. Don’t treat him like your husband or wife. You guys aren’t married and most likely never will be. You’re going to turn him off and he will drop you. Maintain your space and own that space. Don’t make him think you’re desperate because you have many options (at least make it seem like it). Be a slight challenge.
Avoid them.
Don’t avoid them, either. That’s just immature. Acknowledge him if you see him. Create an amicable relationship which can enhance the hook-up relationship.
