By now you’ve probably all heard of the third date rule; if you haven’t, you probably shouldn’t be dating quite yet. The third date rule is quite simple: don’t sleep with someone until the third date. This is one of those dating rules I find to be complete bullshit. While some people swear by it because they believe it keeps a man “coming back for more” and to make sure a man wants a serious relationship, not just sex, I find it to be an irrelevant dating tip. Here are a few reasons why I think the third date rule is a load of crap.
One of the reasons people use the third date rule is to set boundaries for themselves, and others. While that is a respectable argument, if you are someone who finds yourself wanting to have sex with someone after the first date, and are willing to do so, I find it troublesome the only reason you aren’t is out of fear the other person will get the wrong impression of what type of person you are. If you are concerned with what others think, you truly shouldn’t be dating considering you should only be dating when you’re self-assured. It’s one thing to set boundaries for yourself and know your values, but if it’s rooted in keeping someone around, they aren’t right for you in the first place.
Another reason the third date rule is a bunch of shit is because dating isn’t one size fits all. There shouldn’t be any one guideline that governs your dating life or when you choose to engage in sexual activity. A primary problem in the dating sense is the notion that there are social norms that are supposed to be followed. Who gives a shit! It wouldn’t surprise me if slut-shaming is a thing because of this rule. Every person is unique and has their own set of morals they should be following. If someone is confident in themselves, they can decide when the appropriate time to have sex is. If you aren’t comfortable, good for you for listening to your intuition and not giving in to peer pressure. Every situation and person is different.
The third date rule is bullshit because it insinuates relationships as a game. If you have to keep a person on their toes for three dates before you sleep with them, what makes you think they aren’t sticking around for “the chase.” The primary difference in sleeping with someone on the first or third date, or whenever you choose to, is a matter of self-awareness. There is no shame in sleeping with someone on the first date. If the girl bounces, you should know within yourself that the relationship wasn’t meant to be. Same rules apply if you follow the third date rule. If the girl leaves, clearly he wasn’t that interested in the first place and stuck around for the chase.
When it comes to dating rules, not just the third date rule, do what you desire just make sure you are self-aware enough to suffer the consequences, whatever you feel they might be. The only dating rule there should be is, do you.
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