Hello! welcome back to another wonderful article. Healthy snacks Jackson? What do you know about healthy snacks? Absolutely nothing. If you couldn’t tell by the wording of the article title, I didn’t really get to choose this topic. None the less I have been contracted into writing this article, and I’m not one to complain. But for those of you wondering why I chose to write this article, I didn’t. That being said I’m here today to talk to you about 15 healthy snacks to eat during “work from home time”. I don’t know who in their right mind calls working from home “work from home time” but as stated earlier I have no say in the title of this article.
First up is celery, love it or hate it it’s good for you. It’s one of the only foods that burns calories while you eat it. But? Jackson what if I don’t like celery? Look man, this isn’t the tastiest snacks while you work from home list, it’s the healthiest. So man up and shove those green health sticks down your throat you fat piece of shit.
Next up we got bananas. High in potassium and fun this food is a can’t miss on this list. I don’t know about you guys, but I like to feel like I’m getting throated when I eat my snacks.
Have you caught on to me just naming foods I think are healthy yet? This article, like many of my articles, will have no research behind it. If you want a health expert to tell you what to eat go somewhere else. This is the list, deal with it. Strawberries is number 3, Next!
Believe it or not carrots don’t actually help with your eyesight, that’s a wife’s tale and if you take nothing else away from this article take that away. They’re good for you though, and you feel like Bugs Bunny when you eat them.
The little brother who didn’t get enough oxygen at birth of the berry family is coming in at number 5. Put them in some pancakes or eat them one by one out of the carton like a savage. You’re at home, who cares?
We have our first leafy vegetable on the list coming in at number six. If you thought celery tasted bad, get a load of this tasteless leaf. Although very good for you, spinach has the consistency of a bush from your front yard. If you’re thinking to yourself “Jackson, that doesn’t sound very good” it’s not. That’s why health nuts have to blend it into smoothies. So they can funnel it down their throats as fast as possible, so they don’t have to eat that shit.
Number seven is Kiwi! Someone once told me Kiwi is power food. I don’t know what that means, but if there was a food that could give you superpowers it would be a Kiwi. It’s all green and radioactive looking. You wouldn’t think it was good for you either because if you just look at the outside of kiwi its kind of just looks like a hairy turd. Honestly the dude that tried a kiwi for the first time was one crazy mofo because those things look grows.
Whohoo number eight! Halfway done with writing this thing or reading it from your perspective. At number eight we got the peach. Peaches are healthy right? If they’re not oh well because they taste good, and they’re the emoji for a butt so that’s fun. That was number eight give it up for peaches.
Broccoli’s cool because it looks like a miniature tree. Does anybody else think cauliflower is just broccoli’s white trash cousin, or is that just me? Anyway, broccolis healthy so eat some of that. I think it also protects you against Covid-19, but don’t quote me on that because I made it up just now. Kind of like the rest of this list.
Haha just getting. This one is not actually a healthy food, there actually really bad for you. But just like cigarettes you look cooler with one in your mouth. Keep on rocking in the free world twinkies you know we only got mad love for you on this list.
You guys ever just eat a raw turnip before? That thing will take you on a trip. Turnips actually have healing properties that can cure things like Polio. If someone asks you about that fact though you didn’t hear it from me. Turn down for what? More like turnip for number 11 on the list the turnip. Am I right guys?
Thank god the list is almost done because I’m running out of foods. I’m not really sure if pickles are healthy for you. I’m pretty sure they’re just fermented cucumbers, and cucumbers are good for you. Personally, I’m not a big pickle guy, but if pickles are up your ally this is a good one.
This one’s for when you run out of food in the kitchen and you’re not really sure what you should eat. Turn to the sink and get some of that Dawn. Cleans the system right up. If you’re not on the eating dish soap trend yet get with the times.
Are radishes and turnips the same food? I don’t think so but if they are, I apologize. Radishes are a top tier vegetable and need some respect on their name and that’s why I put them on the list.
A lot of people sleep on pasta, but it’s actually really good for you. Let’s say you’re gonna go for a long run the next day, just eat some pasta. Lot of carbs so you have energy for your run.
And that’s the list of 15 healthy snacks to eat while you do work from home time. Did I miss any? Let me know in the comments below.
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