What Our Generation Doesn’t Seem To Understand About Rape
Not just our generation, but everyone! We don’t seem to understand that we live in a rape culture, every day. Surprise! Not everything is rainbows and daisies like it may sometimes seem… Displaying ignorance and having little to no acknowledgement about the prevalent rape culture in the US is what is allowing rape to happen every day. It is what is allowing us to live in this rape culture. Why is it such a hushed and taboo subject? If these topics seem disturbing or cause discomfort- GOOD. Hopefully they will help people start to accept these every day issues as their reality. I hope this article, which I have wrote with sensitivity and passion, helps promote more than just awareness to our rape culture (on campuses especially). I hope it can serve its purpose as a catalyst for change to this horrific reality.
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My Personal Perspective
Of course, I always knew what rape was. I just didn’t fully understand it until I joined university. Most of my basic awareness of our rape culture was introduced to me when I was in high school, but I learned about the true severity of it later on. Although I was never unfortunate enough to experience sexual assault first hand, I have felt the pain of others (although I couldn’t possibly imagine to the extent that they do). I have felt the pain of others everyday internalized in the social media that surrounds us. I hear the voices and see the faces of the victims, because they are around me every day. Rape is real and so much more prevalent and common than people can even begin to understand. This is the problem.
What is Rape Culture?
According to the Oxford Dictionary it is “A society or environment whose prevailing social attitudes have the effect of normalizing and trivializing sexual assault and abuse”. So basically- any scenario can be a society or environment that normalizes or trivializes rape. This especially includes university campuses as prominent hosts for this issue in particular. Do I dare say it? We are a part of this rape culture. Whether we want to admit this to ourselves or not.
buzzfeed.com
You want to know the ugly truth?
It’s a known fact that the cases of sexual assault are poorly handled by many universities. They ultimately, and most literally, disappear into thin air. Students victim blame and slut shame one another, assumptions and false accusations of rape are made, scholarship programs keep the issues hush hush, and sports teams pretend they never happened at all. And above all this, the university administration cares more about avoiding tarnishing their school’s image rather than the health of said victims.
aauw analysis of Clery Act, 2014
The victim carries the burden for the rest of their life and 9 times out of 10, the rapist carries on with their lives.
It has come to the point where the survivor is the one to adjust, feel the burden, and face the bashing, rather than the rapist. A well known example is “Carry that Weight” by Emma Sulcowiz’s, who is a rape survivor. You can read more about her and her final year project at Columbia here. Or the more recent letter of the survivor regarding the Stanford rape case by rapist Brock Turner, here.
The cause of rape has NOTHING at all to do with:
Intoxication from alcohol and drugs
The clothing of the survivor
The sexuality of the survivor
The gender of the survivor
The location of the survivor
The behavior of the survivor
Partying
Why is this so difficult for some people to understand?
Whatever other irrelevant reasons people may use to attempt to justify against the survivor…unless the survivor un-provokingly says “Yes, I want to have sex with you” it isn’t their fault at all.
The cause of rape is the rapist. (You would THINK this would be obvious.)
Just the rapist’s stigma that they have the power to do whatever they want- cat calling, eye ogling, atrocious threats, messages, posters, emotional abuse, and blackmail by the rapist all contribute to sexual assault. These are all examples that clearly portray a person’s intentions without the other person’s permission.
jezebel.com
Well, this is terrifying.
gc.
You think the outcome of the Stanford rape case with rapist Brock Turner was unique? Think again.
Rampant in so many countries, in many different ways. Rape is being used as a power tool. A lot of survivors don’t report due to fear, the length and process of filing a case, the ignorance towards it, and sadly, many a times the riddance of “honor” and upcoming shame with it. There are so many cases where the welfare and traumatic experience felt by the survivor is disregarded. Also, so many more cases of rape are settled with little to no justice for the victim, so it is no surprise many cases go un-reported.
sfchronicle.com
Although…
There are measures being taken to prevent rape, with increased security near party areas, a nail polish formula to test the validity of a drink, seminars about safe sex, having party buddies, hairy leg stockings and more. The main aspect that needs to be taken into consideration is the mindset as to how one is supposed to be with another person. No one is superior or greater than one another. This leads to the concept of consent.
puccamls.
What is Affirmative Consent?
It is “explicit, informed, and voluntary agreement to participate in a sexual act” as defined by the Oxford Dictionary.
It does not take effort to ask for consent. It is a form of respect for one another’s comfort and feelings. Consent should be a compulsive action. The rejection once after asking for consent, should not hurt one’s so-called ego. More importantly is the future consequences that comes with sexual assault. Convincing continuously, there after getting a “yes” is not consent, but coercion. Emotionally influencing and abusing, then getting a “yes”, is not consent but manipulation. If someone does not understand the importance of consent, I’m sorry (not sorry), you’re not fit to go any step further.
Watch the famous video about tea to learn more about consent below.
Here is a famous video about consent.
sarpa.bu.edu
What we should do about Rape Culture?
I’m not trying to create fear or set you all away from university. No, university is very important to get that education and experience you need to thrive in the real world. What I want to do is create the mentality in our culture that it is the time to change the mentality of rape culture we currently have. Us students need to understand that it takes a lot of courage and strength to report and open up about sexual assault and abuse. University is a ground where we come to develop and discover ourselves. People need a safe environment where we can support, believe, and listen to one another. There are rarely any cases where there are false accusations of sexual assault.
buzzfeed.com
My last words to you…
Rather than questioning and blaming the survivor, we need to QUESTION and BLAME the rapist. We need to question and blame the CULTURE we currently live in and the things we say and the actions we take every day. We need to ask ourselves what we can do individually to end this rape culture we are all blindly living in. Although not easy, I strongly hope that once students understand this, the indifference towards rape culture will alter for the better.
a-golden-lasso-of-my-own.
What else do students need to understand about rape? Comment below and spread awareness to this issue by sharing this article!
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