You invite a lot of your friends over to hang out at your place for a while. After watching a couple movies, someone suggests that you play the game ‘Never Have I Ever.’ You’ve heard of this game before, but you’re not quite sure how it works. Your friends assure you that it’s really easy: all you have to do is say something that you’ve never done. If anyone else playing the game has done that thing, they have to drink. This sounds like a fun idea, so you take out all the alcohol you have (which is a fair amount), get comfortable on the couch, and begin to play.
Pretty hard for you to drink here, since the relationships you’ve been in have never lasted that long. No matter what you seem to do, your partners just never seem to hang around. Perhaps it’s because of your action figure collection, or how you sometimes have to ask your partner to repeat themselves after saying something. You’re sure that at least one of them has told you what the problem was, but you probably weren’t listening to what they were saying. Actually, thinking about all your failed relationships is making you want to have a drink…
Well, you can have that drink now. If the game allowed you to have one for each time you broke up with someone, you’d be dead drunk after only the second round! You don’t always break up with your partners, though. About half the time, they’re the ones that break up with you. Relationships look so easy, or at least doable, on TV but, in real life, they’re practically impossible. Is the reason you’ve had so much bad luck due to your desperation for any romantic relationship? No…that can’t be it. It has to be something else.
You’re one of the first people to raise your glass during this round. Yes, you’ve lied to several of your bosses before, but you had good reasons for doing it. You remember one job you used to have where your boss asked if you were busy. Normally, you would’ve replied that you weren’t, but you saw your boss start to unwrap a huge package and guessed what he wanted you to do. You really didn’t want to spend an hour moving heavy things around. You might’ve done it if it was a job that you really wanted instead of a minimum wage job you were doing over the summer.
You laugh when one of your friends says this one, since you’re confident that, tomorrow morning, you’re going to experience the worst hangover of your life. You’ve been drinking a lot of alcohol, but not because of the game. No, you keep sneakily drinking your glass and pouring more and more into it. You’re probably more intoxicated than any of your friends, but who cares? You don’t have to drive home tonight. So, before tomorrow, you’ve never experienced a bad hangover, but a couple of your friends have. You idly wonder whether they’ve ever been hungover after playing this game.
You’ve done this once in your life before, and you still feel bad about it. Years and years ago, one of your family members (you can’t remember who) gave you a skateboard for Christmas. It’s not that it was a bad skateboard – it was actually a really nice one – but you had never been on one in your life and didn’t have any interest in doing so. To get rid of the gift, you decided to re-gift it to your cousin. All would’ve worked out fine, but your cousin showed off his new gift to the person who originally gave it to you. You’re sure that they felt hurt that you gave it away, and so you’ve tried to make it up to them ever since.
OK, let’s be honest. At some point in everyone’s lives they’ve went at least 24 hours without taking a shower. If anyone says “No, not me”, then they’re lying to you. Sure, they take showers every day now, but what about when they were toddlers, hmm? Do you think their parents showered a newborn baby? Of course not. After you argue this, the statement will be changed to when everyone was old enough to take care of themselves. Even then, it’s more than likely that all your friends, yourself included, forgot to shower one day. It happens to everyone.
Better start drinking for this one, since you’ve had many such meals. The most recent time you ate an entire pizza by yourself was at your friend’s party. They had ordered five or so pizzas and, after most of the guests had gone, you consolidated the remaining slices of pizza into a couple boxes, making for a few mismatched pizzas. When you went to put them in the fridge, you found that there wasn’t enough room for all the boxes. To solve this issue, your friend dared you to eat an entire pizza all by yourself. You ended up accomplishing this, but you felt pretty sick afterwards.
You’ve slept out in a tent in your backyard once before, and then vowed never to do it again after what happened that night. You had your sleeping bag and a nice, soft pillow with you in a small tent. It was late summer, so the weather hadn’t turned cold yet. Settling down for a calm night, you proceeded to fall asleep. About the middle of the night, you woke up. There was a rustling noise coming from outside the tent, and so you unzipped the top of the opening and peered out. Now, your old house was in the country, and it was common to see animals roaming around outside. One such animal, a coyote, was walking at the edge of the woods nearby! You waited for it to walk off a bit, then ran for the house. This scary experience is why you will never sleep outside again.
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