Every once in awhile, you decide to watch a couple of horror movies. Whenever you do, you’re always amazed at how stupid some of the characters can be. Sometimes you feel like screaming at the TV, “Don’t go in there!” but of course, they go in anyway and immediately get killed. It can be incredibly frustrating. So, you’re sitting on your couch, watching yet another horror film, when you start to think about all the dumb things that people do in these movies. This quickly becomes more entertaining than actually watching the movie, and you begin to compile a list in your head.
Alright, horror movies have their protagonists do some dumb things, but picking up a scary stranger on the side of the road may be one of the dumbest. So, these people are driving by, and decide to be good Samaritans and pick up some dude they don’t know?
Everything could’ve been avoided if they just kept on driving! Oh yeah, there was also a sign nearby saying, ‘Don’t pick up hitchhikers,’ but why should they listen to a sign? Signs are stupid, right? Can you imagine someone doing this in real life? There’s absolutely no way this would ever happen.
In horror movies, always remember to keep running. The moment you think you’ve escaped and stop moving is the moment you die. One of the most frustrating examples of this is when Helen finally sees safety ahead of her, but decides to stop running for, like, a second.
Wouldn’t you think that the sight of salvation would make give you a second wind or something? If you were in her position, you tell yourself that you’d keep running even after reaching your destination. There’s no way you’re going to die tonight! At least, not in such a ridiculous and nonsensical way.
You’ve probably heard of this movie and how Jack turns insane after a while and attacks his wife and son. Well, as you know, Shelley Duvall’s character locks him in the freezer, where she assumes he cannot escape. Pretty smart so far for a horror movie, right? However, like many horror movies, the protagonist messes up somehow.
Shelley’s mistake was that she went back to bed after locking him up! Now, granted, they were in the middle of a blizzard, so leaving would’ve been difficult, but going back to bed is something that you should never do after a traumatizing event like having your husband try to kill you. She and Danny got away in the end, though, so it all worked out.
You find a mysterious videotape that says ‘Do Not Watch.’ What do you do? Well, since horror movies need their characters to make a dumb decision to begin the film, you decide to watch it. What happens next is entirely your fault. It is, however, a little understandable to be unafraid of a warning on a videotape.
Someone probably was just trying to scare whoever watched it—nothing to worry about. Of course, you’ll be kicking yourself later for ignoring the clear warning as you try to escape from the monstrous apparition that’s no stalking you.
Horror movies don’t usually let their protagonists get away free and clear before the end, but that’s not the case here. After escaping from the masked killers in the house, Kristen gets a good vantage point where she can see them all and then decides to go back into the house.
Why, Kristen? Why would you do this? You probably had a similar reaction when you first saw this film. After breaking out of a nightmare situation, why would you ever willingly go back? She must have had a death wish or something. Without a doubt, you would have never gone to that house in a million years, and certainly not after just leaving.
Why do so many horror movies have their protagonists do dumb things? It makes a lot of them hard to watch and takes you out of the movie. One of the stupidest things ever committed by a character in a horror film is when Liz can get Mick’s upper hand with a gun.
If you were in this situation, what would you do? You probably wouldn’t drop the gun right next to Mick and run away, right? That’s one of the worst things you can do! He’s not going to be knocked out forever and, when he eventually wakes up and sees a gun just lying there, he’s going to pick it up and come after you.
Be honest, if you had a murderous doll in your hands and a roaring fire literally right next to you, what’s going to be your first move? Remember, though, that in horror movies, you’re not allowed to actually win so soon, so you’d better think of something really clever that will neutralize the killer.
Simply threatening to throw Chucky into the fire, as this protagonist does, is nowhere near enough. This will actually benefit the doll more than it will you since it’ll give Chucky time to break out of your grasp. You could always fight the possessed doll one on one, knife to knife, although your chances of survival will be pretty much nil.
This may be the dumbest and most ridiculous decision ever committed in all the horror movies in existence. If you go to a creepy and abandoned building and then decide to take a bath there, you’re going to have a bad time. It really makes you wonder what was going through Shirley’s mind when she thought this was a good idea.
Wouldn’t the creepy silence and down run appearance of your surroundings make you too uncomfortable to have a bath? Imagine yourself in this situation. How long would you stay in this building? An hour? 15 minutes? Enough time to take a soothing bath, perhaps?
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