Demisexual (adj./noun): A word used to describe your sexuality; somebody who only has sex with someone who they have both a sexual and emotional attraction to. Synonyms: old-fashioned, romantic. Antonyms: player, screwing without feelings.
First and foremost, this is a term I could get down with. When I first heard about this word my instant reaction was “thank-fucking-god!” I’m serious – it’s refreshing to someone has coined a word for something so admirable. As millennials, we’re known not only for our vanity but our hookup culture. We have one-night-stands and are, somewhat, emotionally disconnected. Honestly, it’s not too far-fetched of a claim.
While there is zero shame in one night stands, I’ve always been an avoid believer that sex should be an intimate and emotional experience (hi mom and dad). That’s not to say having sex without an emotional connection can’t be a good time but I know plenty of people who have had a one-night-stand and shortly after regretted their decision – given that’s on them.
I can’t say I’ve ever heard someone regret having sex with somebody they are emotionally intimate with. In many ways I think it’s safe to say it makes sex a thousand times better. Those who identify as demisexual, focus on creating an intimate bond with someone. While some of you might be thinking “isn’t that a given?” it’s really not nowadays. There are several of us out there who just want to have sex for the pleasure of it or whatever your reason may be.
Demisexuals are turned on by forming an emotional connection with someone. Physical appearance, their voice and other, so to speak, superficial qualities are irrelevant. Just because you form an emotional bond with someone doesn’t guarantee that the sexual attraction will coincide – there are plenty of times when you think you’re emotionally intimate with someone and then the sex just blows.
Don’t let anyone shame you for having a one-night-stand, or multiple, or for casual hookups; if you are someone who identifies as demisexual, don’t let anyone tell you you’re out of your mind and that it’s impossible to get emotionally intimate to someone without sex.
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